A Life's Tragedy
by NirvanaRawkz
Summary: Story about Cal finding true love. Will his pride stop him? From Cal's POV. Very close to the movie until then end! Please Review! NOW COMPLETE! Critism Welcomed
1. The Titanic

A Life's Tragedy

****

August 15, 2003 - 

**My driver pulled into Belfast. Swarms of people littered the streets. Every culture imaginable. Awful, I thought. Where were people of my class? First class. Royalty, rail road fortune heirs, new money, anything but this filth. **

We parked, My personal valet pulled open my door. The sight was breathtaking. The RMS Titanic sitting there before me. I was in awe at her beauty. 

"I don't see what all the fuss is about. It doesn't look any bigger the Mauritania." Rose, my splendid fiancé, spoke blatantly. 

I walked up beside her. "You can be blasé about some things, Rose. But not about Titanic. She's over a hundred feet longer then Mauritania. And far more luxurious." I said. I turned to Rose's mother. "You're daughter is far too difficult to impress, Ruth."

She laughed, as we walked towards the ship. This ship was amazing. 

"God himself could not sink this ship." I announced. Delighted that the ship had reached my full expectations. 

Mr. Spicer Lovejoy, my valet, tended to our luggage as we boarded the ship. 

Rose wrapped her arm around mine, Ruth walked out in front of us. We were going back to America. Our wedding had already been announced. But what a splendid thing to have a final voyage before being tied down in marriage. 

My father, Nathan Hockley, was a Pittsburgh Steel man. I was always brought up in riches and wealth. But Titanic even surpassed my every desire. 

I was shown to my private promenade deck. Splendid, I thought to myself. As I looked out over the crowds on the lower deck. 

"Would you be requiring anything, sir?" A steward asked from behind me. I waved a hand dismissively. 

I picked up the bottle of fine champagne. Pouring myself some in a crystal wine glass. Such finery. Each suite furnished completely. China dishes. Golden wood and sculpted detail. This truly was the ship of dreams. I was all the more proud, of bringing this experience to the Dewitt Bukaters. 

I reentered the state room. God, I thought to myself. Rose was putting up the hideous paintings I had bought for her. The artist was terrible in my opinion. 

I sipped on the champagne, leaning on the doorframe. Rose was beautiful. Only seventeen years old. But she had the body and mind of a woman. Flowing red hair, which was done up on her head. Her eyes sparkling with wonder over the horrible paintings. 

I watched Trudy, the maid, help Rose place the paintings all over the room. 

"God, those mud puddles certainly were a waste of money." I scoffed. 

Trudy looked at me. 

"The difference between Cal's taste in art, and mine. Is that I have some. They are fascinating." Rose said.

"Well at least they were cheap." I smiled. 

I turned to Lovejoy as he ordered my safe be placed in the wardrobe. 

I left Rose to finish decorating her room. I handed a steward a twenty to take care of my things for me. 

"J.J.!" I called down the hall to a familiar face. 

John Jacob Astor and his wife Madeline were strolling arm and arm. 

"Caledon!" He said, looking a bit surprised to see me. They stopped and waited for me. 

"John, Madeline. How are you this afternoon?" I asked in a polite voice. He was the richest man on the ship. I acted as though we were old friends. 

"Fine, Cal." Madeline smiled. She held her arm across her stomach, trying to hide her pregnancy. 

"Where is your fiancé?" J.J. asked. 

"Ah you know Rose. Being melancholy, putting on a show." I laughed. "So where are you headed." 

"We're off to take a stroll on the deck. Why don't you join us." He said. 

I nodded. "Well if you insist." I followed them to the lifts. 

Madeline and J.J. continued to walk arm in arm. I walked the same pace on the opposite side of John. 

"Beautiful afternoon for sailing, don't you think?" I asked. Trying to make conversation.

"Oh, yes. Definitely." J.J. smiled. Madeline whispered that she needed to rest a spell. Most likely because of her delicate condition. She sat on the wooden deck chair. John at her side. I stood leaning on the rail. The wind whipped through my black hair. Bringing it down from where I had had it neatly combed. 

I heard someone yelling. I looked towards the front of the ship. 

"I'm the king of the world!" A young man, from steerage, shouted. 

I laughed. "God, you'd think they could keep them in their places." I motioned to the young man. 

John looked at me sternly. I quickly realized he didn't feel the same way. "What I meant was, he could get injured. They shouldn't allow passengers that close to the bow railings." I laughed nervously. 

"Yes." John nodded suspiciously. I looked to the young man again. There was another man with him, but he was silent. 

"I think Madeline needs to rest." John said standing. 

I nodded. Walking with them back to the first class corridors. They disappeared into their room. 

I only hoped I hadn't made a bad impression with him. I went back to my room, to dress for dinner. The black dinner jacket was the last thing I put on. I ran the comb through my hair, and met Ruth in the hall.

"Rose, is still dressing. I apologize." Ruth said. I crooked my elbow allowing her to hold onto my arm. 

"It's fine. She'll just meet us in the dining hall." I smiled.

Rose joined us only moments later. Wearing a beautiful gown. I was lucky to have her. I knew this. But I never let that be known. 

Our table was filled with rich members of society. Among those at our table was: Thomas Andrews, the master shipbuilder, and Bruce Ismay, director at White Star Line. 

Molly Brown was also seated at the table. Directly in front of me. I was not fond of this woman, I won't pretend to be. She was new money, as Ruth so eloquently put it. 

All of her money was from her husband. She was loud, and completely vulgar. In my opinion, at least.

Thomas and Bruce were discussing the Titanic's building stages. I hardly listened. I sipped on the delicious champagne. 

"You know I don't like that, Rose." Ruth was saying. I turned to them, they were seated to my right. Rose had lit a cigarette. 

I reached over, pulling the cigarette from the polished wood holder. I extinguished it in the tray. "She knows." I said, I bit angry. 

I ordered the lamb for both, Rose and I. "You like lamb, don't you sweetpea?"

She nodded to me, with a smile I knew had to be fake. I turned back to the table. 

"You gonna carve her meat, there for her too, Cal?" Molly Brown asked. 

I glared at her, until she turned away. 

"So who thought up the name, Titanic? Was it you Bruce?" She asked looking to Mr. Ismay. 

Again I merely fell into thought. My mind swamped with my marriage ceremony. I thought about the gift I had bought Rose. I wondered when I should give it to her. 

"Do you know of Dr. Freud? His ideas about the male preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you, Mr. Ismay." Rose said, bringing me from my thoughts. 

I looked at Thomas who was attempting to suppress laughter. I didn't find her rude behavior funny at all. 

"If you'll excuse me." Rose stood and walked away from the table.

I sat with my hands folded before me. Embarrassed by her actions. But not so much as her mother. 

"I do apologize." Ruth said to the group. 

"She's a pistol, Cal. Hope you can handle her." Molly said smiling at me. 

I thought about it a moment before answering. "Well, I may have to start minding what she reads from now on, won't I Mrs. Brown?" I asked. 

She sat back in her chair. The first time during the entire dinner that she had been quiet.

I picked up my wine-glass again, drinking a little. The group continued to talk about the ship. How wonderful it was. Yes, I had to agree with them. But enough is enough. It's a ship. Sure it was great. But couldn't they just leave it at that?

"Join me for some brandy?" Mr. Ismay, asked looking down at me.

I waved my hand sending him away. I gentle scooted my chair away from the table. I stood and walked out of the dining hall to find Rose. 

I found her quickly, outside on the top deck. Looking over to the bottom deck. 

"Rose, that was a ridiculous display in there." I lectured her. "What were you thinking?" 

"Cal, forget it you wouldn't understand." She said and stormed off behind me. 

I looked down to the deck. A man held a leather binder, with paper, in his lap. He stared up at me. He was dressed like the one from the bow. I wondered briefly if he was the same guy. 

His staring had quickly annoyed me. Had he been watching Rose as well? I didn't know. I turned and walked speedily after Rose. 

"Rose wait!" I said a bit loudly. I didn't want to cause a stir. She ran to her room, slamming the whitewashed door in my face. 

I knocked on the door. "Come on, Rose. Come out of there." I tried the golden doorknob. "Rose, I said some out of there!" I said, anger in my voice. 

"No!" She shouted back. 

What had made her this angry? I hadn't the slightest idea. I knocked once more. 

"Problems, Sir?" Someone asked from behind me. I turned to see Mr. Guggenheim. 

"No, sir." I smiled. 

"Splendid then, won't you join me for a cigar and brandy?" He asked. 

"Great." I agreed and followed him down the corridor. I quickly glanced back at Roses door. 

"What about the presidential campaigns, aren't they just dreadful these days?" Mr. Guggenheim said to our small group of men, in the smoking room. 

A waiter leaned down and lit my expensive English cigar. I breathed in the smoke. These conversations really did bore me, but this was the crowd I belonged in. So I remained very sociable. 

A steward rushed over to our table. "Mr. Hockley. Mr. Hockley. I was sent to find you. You have to come with me." He was saying. 

I stood, Colonel Gracie stood as well. Spicer Lovejoy looked from me back to the steward. 

"Well what is it?" I asked. 

"It's Miss. Dewitt Bukater. She's been attacked." He sounded frantic. Mr. Lovejoy now stood. 

I followed the steward to the deck. Lovejoy and the colonel behind us. When we arrived at the stern, I couldn't believe my eyes. There was the same man from steerage, standing by the master-at-arms. 


	2. Threat in a Stranger

****

~*Two*~

Rose stood shaking from the cold, with an officer whom I didn't know. I walked up to her rubbing her arms with the palms of my hands. 

"Are you alright?" I asked. 

She nodded wearily. 

The officer explained what had happened. Rose was screaming, and when the men arrived this third-class passenger was hovery over her. Her dress ripped. 

Well they didn't need to tell me anymore. I stormed over to the man in handcuffs. 

"What made you think you could lay your hands on my fiancé?" I demanded.

He looked past me to Rose. Who was saying my name. "Cal!"

"Look, at me you filth!" I said, angrily. "What did you think you were doing." 

"Cal, stop!" Rose said from behind me. "It was an accident."

I turned to her. "Accident?" I laughed knowing that his intentions could not have been accidental.

I walked back to her. She looked at the man, then back to me.

"Stupid, really. I was leaning over and I slipped." She said. 

I rolled my eyes, but continued to listen. 

"I was leaning far over to see the uh- um- um- the uh…" She waved her hand in a circle, trying to find her words. 

"Propellers?" I asked, not really looking at her.

"Yes! Propellers. And I slipped and Mr. Dawson here saved me." She said looking at the man again. Mr. Dawson, she had said his name.

"You wanted to see the-" I nodded my head towards Mr. Dawson. "She wanted to see the propellers." I said with a nervous laugh. 

The master-at-arms turned Mr. Dawson to him. "Was that the way of it?" 

He looked from me to Rose. "Yeah that was pretty much it." 

"Well the boy's a hero then. Good for you son, well done!" The colonel laughed. 

"Well it's alls well and back to our brandy, eh?" He said looking at me. 

I nodded. 

Mr. Dawson was released from his handcuff prison. I hugged Rose, trying to warm her up from the wintry cold. "Come on let's get you inside." 

We started to walk away, leaving Mr. Dawson there at the stern. 

"Perhaps a little something for the boy." The colonel motioned back to Mr. Dawson. 

"Right, of course." I said with a smile. I turned to my man. "Mr. Lovejoy, I think a twenty should do it."

Mr. Lovejoy nodded. I turned to leave, my arm around Rose. She stopped in her tracks. 

She scoffed. "Is that the going rate for saving the woman you love?" 

I looked into her eyes. "Rose it displeased. Oh what to do?" I looked back to Mr. Dawson. "I know." 

I walked over to him, standing right before him. Knowing I was better, trying to make him feel inadequate next to me.

"Perhaps you could join us for dinner tomorrow, to regale our group with your heroic tale?" I offered. 

He looked past me, again, looking at Rose. Then he turned his attention back to me. 

"Sure, count me in." He replied. 

I almost laughed. But I remembered my manners. "Good, it's settled then." 

I wrapped my arm around Rose again, and we walked towards the cabins. 

"This should be interesting." I whispered to the colonel. 

"Mm-hmm." He laughed in reply. 

As we walked together, I noticed another member of steerage. A woman holding the hand of a child. She stared into my eyes. I felt a bit uncomfortable by her staring. But I only stared back. Not of anger really. I thought she was very beautiful. 

Long flowing blond hair, though dim with dirt, still beautiful. Fair skin, and amazing blue eyes. I fell into those eyes. They captured me. 

Her clothes were ragged and dirty. But in my mind I saw her wearing fine clothes, how beautiful she would be. Though being more beautiful then she was there on the deck, was most likely impossible. 

"Mr. Hockley!" Lovejoy called from behind me, bringing me back to the real world. I turned my attention from the girl, and back to my valet. 

"Yes?" I asked. 

"Do you know what you're getting yourself into, by bringing that ruffian into our dinner gathering?" He asked. 

I nodded. "Of course, it'll be amusing. Don't worry so much." I laughed. 

Rose looked up at me. Disgust in her features. I only smiled back to her. 

"He was a wonderful man, Cal. He saved me." She was saying. 

"I know." I laughed. 

I felt the third-class woman following me with her gaze, though I didn't once turn back to her. 


	3. The Heart of the Ocean

****

~*Three*~

The Heart of the Ocean

Rose retired to her room, while I went back to the smoking room.

"What on earth was going on?" Mr. Ismay asked, a bit concerned.

"Rose, about fell over the rails. She's okay though." I smiled. "If you'll excuse me, gentlemen." 

"Of course." They said in unison. 

I stood and took my leave of the group. I went back to my suite. I quietly entered my wardrobe. I walked over to my little green safe. 

I turned the knob quickly. Stopping on the combination numbers, then the thing made a loud noise and was unlocked. I opened it and pulled out the case I had placed there earlier. 

I opened it up, and ran my fingers over the blue diamond. I smiled, knowing the gift was really too much. But also glad of the image it would give me. 

I walked to Rose's door. Which was cracked slightly. I peered in, she sat at the vanity. More beautiful than ever. I gently pushed open the door. She hadn't heard me. Only after minutes did she know I was there. 

She watched me standing in her doorway. Not taking her eyes from the mirror.

"I know you've been melancholy." I said lovingly. "I don't pretend to know why." 

I walked over to her, and sat on the vanity. Her music boxed played lightly, but I wanted no interference. So I closed the thing, and shoved it aside. 

I brought out the case, holding it before her. 

"I intended on saving this, until the engagement gala next week." I was saying, still speaking softly to my sweet Rose. I opened it, reveling the splendid jewel. "I thought tonight."

Rose gasped at the sight of it. I smiled, being very pleased with her reaction. She touched the velvet interior of the case. 

"Oh my God, is it a-" 

"Diamond?" I asked. Smiling. "Yes. 56 carats to be exact." 

I removed it from it's casing. "It was worn by Louis the XVI. They call it. Le Coeur de la Mer. The -" 

"Heart of the Ocean." She spoke the words as I did. 

"Yes." I laughed. I held the chain closed behind her neck. I stared at her in the mirror. "There's nothing I couldn't give you. There's nothing I'd deny you. If you will not deny me." I said, I turned my gaze form the image in the mirror to her. "Now open your heart to me, Rose."

She continued to inspect the gem in the mirror. Not saying anything. 

The true reason I had given this priceless gift to her early. Was to ensure Dawson would not be a problem later. Or so I told myself.

Perhaps, it was because my mind was plagued with images of that third-class girl. I wanted to forget her. I wanted things to be as they were. I wanted Rose Dewitt Bukater to be my wife. That's what I wanted.

So whether or not I wanted to hold off Dawson is unknown to me. I loved Rose, I won't deny that. But what was this hold that this steerage passenger had over me?

She was poor, probably homeless. Never could she fit in with me. But Rose did, and so I gave her the gem. I loved the way she marveled at it's beauty. 

I stood and kissed her on the lips. Fastening the necklace around her neck. "Goodnight, sweetpea." I spoke softly. I kissed her again, then left her. 


	4. Child Doll: Melissa

****

~*Four*~

The Child Doll: Melissa

When I awoke the next morning, I was overcome by laughter. Remembering that Dawson would be joining us for dinner. This should be very interesting. I couldn't wait. 

I got dressed quickly. Wearing a black suit, black overcoat, and top hat. I headed out into the hall. I spotted Trudy right away. 

"Excuse me, have you seen Miss. Dewitt Bukater this morning?" I asked. 

"Yes, sir. She went to find that nice young lad who helped her. Said she wanted to thank him." She replied. 

I nodded. She walked down the hall carrying a bundle of sheets. 

No need to find her, I reassured myself. After all the man had been of great assistance to us. Our gratitude was in order. 

I left to go to the boat deck. Take in the morning air, and beautiful ocean. 

"Let go!" I heard a child scream. I turned in the direction to see the Master-at-arms pulling a third class girl by the arm. 

Mr. Parker, self-made millionaire, followed closely behind. Normally I would have disregarded all of what I was seeing. The cruelty he was doing to this girl. His strong hands wrapped tightly around her tiny wrists. Tears streamed down her face.

I knew this girl. I followed them. Trying to place where I had seen her. 

"Please let go! Where's my mommy?" She was screaming. Then I remembered. The woman from third class. The beauty I had saw the night before. This was her child. 

I raced up to them. "Say, men, what's going on here?" I asked. 

They stopped and turned to me. "Hello, Mr. Hockley." Came the master-at-arms' reply. 

"She stole a brand new toy from my little boy. She's a thief, a bloody thief, I tell you!" Mr. Parker's voice full of anger.

The girl struggled to get away. I leaned down. "Shh." I tried to calm her down. Then I stood and looked at the man holding her. "Let her go." I said without emotion. 

"Are you mad? Filth like her should be locked in cages." Mr. Parker said. 

I glared at him. "She's a person too. Granted not a very good one. But that's not our concern." 

"Sorry, sir. But I have to take her into custody, until her mother is informed." The master-at-arms announced. 

I looked down at the girl, no more then seven years old. Crystal blue eyes, and blonde hair. Very close to her mother. 

I reached into my pocket, and pulled out a roll of money. I handed it to Mr. Parker. "I believe this should handle the damages."

He looked at me, then angrily walked away. 

"Well, that's all well and good, sir. But I still have to take her." He said. 

I cleared my throat and thought for a moment. The little girl stared up at me. Perhaps overwhelmed by my generosity. 

"I'll take her to her mother." I said, again not letting any emotion show in my voice.

"But, sir. You'll have to go down to steerage." He tried to talk me out of it. 

"I know that! I'm not an idiot." I said, angrily. "Now leave us be." 

He suspiciously nodded. Removing his hands from the child. 

I leaned down again. "What's your name?" I asked. 

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers." Was her reply. 

I had to smile at this. "Well think of it this way, I'm a new friend. My name is Caledon Hockley." 

She laughed a bit. I assumed she had never heard such a proper name. "Call me Cal, then." I smiled. 

"I'm Melissa!" She said brightly. 

"Well, Melissa. Do you know where to find your mommy?" I asked. 

She nodded, and starting walking down the deck. We came to stairs which, I had never used. Nor ever wanted to use.

When we reached the bottom, she tried to take my hand. I jumped back reflexively. After all her hands were filthy, I didn't want to touch her really. But I saw the pained expression in her child doll's face. I rolled my eyes, and took hold of her hand. 

She smiled and started walking faster. I was appalled by the lower level. Hundreds of doors. When we past an open one I was able to see inside. Four bunks, in a tiny enclosed space. Such a waste of Titanic. It should have been completely built of first class rooms, I thought. 

How could the passengers be happy here? I asked myself as we passed several people. They turned to stare at me, as though I was breaking into their little world. When all I wanted was to get out of there.

"Melissa!" I heard a woman call. "Where are you?"

She stopped and looked up at me. "That's my mommy." She said sadly.

I was confused. "What's wrong?" I asked. 

"She's going to be mad." She sighed. Then I remembered she had stolen from a first class man. 

"There you are!" She ran up to us. Taken aback by my presence, I knew. 

"I'm so sorry." She said frantically. She took her daughter's hand. "It'll never happen again."

I shook my head. 

"She won't bug you anymore. I promise." She said again. 

"No, no. It's fine. Listen, I never caught your name last night." She was even more radiant now that I had been within feet of her. Staring into her eyes, hearing her voice. 

"Why do you want to know my name?" she asked. 

I laughed. "Because I just handed out fifty dollars for a stolen toy. The least you can do is tell me your name." 

She looked at her daughter angrily. "Go to the room." She ordered.

"No, I didn't mean it was a problem or anything." I tried to remain gentlemanly, even in these extreme conditions.

She watched her daughter disappear. "Look, I'm sorry for whatever she stole. I'll find a way to pay you back, sir." 

"That's not necessary." I quickly shot back. "Just tell me your name." 

"Catherine de Louisse." She reluctantly answered. I knew she had had an accent. It was French I finally recognized. 

"Caledon Hockley." I held out my hand to shake. 

She slowly did the same. "How can I ever thank you enough?" She asked. 

I waved a hand dismissively. Then turned to leave. I had to get away from these people. Her beauty was intoxicating. But these surroundings were unbearable. 

When I turned back she was gone. I didn't know if I would see Catherine, or the child-doll, Melissa again. I was glad I had helped them out. But now it was time for me to return to my world.


	5. The Dinner

****

~*Five*~  
The Dinner

I walked down the stairs of the grand staircase. Ruth on my arm. I was anxious to see how Dawson would turn out for dinner. But I doubted he would show up at all.

"There is the Countess." I said to Ruth, leading the way to the Countess of Rothes. 

I took her hand in mine, kissing her knuckles. 

"Good evening, Cal." She said with a smile. Ruth and her chatted away like old friends. 

"Darling?" Rose's voice came from behind me. A handsome young man at her side. Dressed in a dinner suit and jacket. I had never seen him before. "Surely, you remember Jack Dawson." 

"Dawson?" I asked astonished. I laughed. "We- well you look amazing. You could almost pass for a gentleman." 

"Almost." Came his reply. Attempting to be sarcastic.

"How extraordinary." Ruth took my hand and we walked away from Dawson and Rose.

I pulled the chair out for Ruth, as we seated ourselves at the table. The band played somewhere behind us. Peaceful, though no one really listened. 

Soon the rest of our group joined us. I sat between Rose and Ruth of course. Dawson sat diagonal from me, by Molly Brown. 

I sipped the champagne. Silently wondering how Dawson must have felt. Being on the ship is one blessing, but being a third-class passenger in the first-class dining area is a completely different story. 

"Tell of the accommodations in steerage, Mr. Dawson. I hear they are quite good on this ship." I had to suppress the urge to laugh as Ruth spoke these words. 

I remained a gentleman though. Looking from her, over to Dawson.

"The best I've seen, ma'am. Hardly any rats." He said sarcastically. The entire table erupted into laughter, except for Ruth and myself.

"Mr. Dawson is joining us from the third-class. He was of some assistance to my fiancé last night." I explained. Everyone quieted down then.

Whispers went around the table. But I could hear them clearly. Mr. Guggenheim leaned into talk to Madam Aubert, his mistress. "What is Cal wanting to prove in bringing this buffoon here?" 

She shook her head. 

I wasn't trying proving anything. I merely thought this evening would be amusing.

I watched as Dawson declined the caviar. I smiled. Seeing how uneasy he was here. 

"Where exactly do you live, Mr. Dawson?" Ruth asked. 

"Well, ma'am. Right now my address is the RMS Titanic. After that I'm on God's good humor." Was his reply. 

"You find that sort of rootless existence appealing, do you?" Ruth asked, lifting her glass to her lips. I looked back to Dawson. 

"Well, yes ma'am. I do." He said. 

"And how is you have means to travel?" Ruth asked. I sat silent, looking between them. 

"Well I work my way from place to place. Tramp steamers and stuff. But I won my ticket on Titanic here in a lucky game of poker." He looked at Rose. "A very lucky hand." 

I glared from him to Ruth. I took out my cigarette, searching my pockets for a match. 

"Oh here you go, Cal." Dawson threw me his pack of matches. I caught them mid air. 

"I've learned to take life as it comes at ya. I love waking up in the morning, not knowing where I'm going to be. Or who I'm going to meet. Why just the other night, I was sleeping under a bridge, and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world. Having champagne with you fine people." He lifted his glass to the waiter for a refill. Everyone laughed. Except, of course, Ruth and I.

"I figure life's a gift, and I don't plan on wasting it. You never know what hand you're going to get dealt next. I've learned to live life to the fullest and make each day count." He finished his speech. 

"Well said, Jack." Molly lifted her glass slightly.

"Here, Here!" The colonel lifted his glass. 

"To making it count." Rose said. I looked from her to the others. 

"Make it count!" They all toasted. I lifted my glass last. Forcing a smile. Though thoroughly unhappy with Dawson fitting in so well here.

Again the conversation went to Mr. Ismay and Mr. Andrews. Talking about the ship. Rivets of all things, at the dinner table, Very absurd. 

After dessert Colonel Gracie stood. "Join me in a brandy, gentlemen?"

I stood. Along with the other men. They filed out towards the smoking room. 

"Joining us, Dawson?" Gracie asked. 

He shook his head. "Nah, I gotta be heading back." 

I walked over to him, patting him on the shoulder. 

"It's probably best. It'll be all politics and business. Wouldn't interest you." I said, trying to make him feel inferior. I walked behind him.

I turned back to him. "Oh, but Dawson. Good of you to come." I smiled, throwing his matches back to him. 

I left, walking by Mr. Guggenheim. The quiet atmosphere gave me time to think. I took my leave of the men, quickly. Going back to my rooms. I sat in the chair, sipping champagne. 

Just then I heard a scraping noise towards the door. A paper slid under. I raced over and pulled open the door. But no one was there.

I bent down and picked it up. Slowly walking back to my chair. 

I unfolded it, careful not to tear the cheap paper. Inside a note was scribbled in pencil. 

Cal, 

Just thought I would warn you. 

What you are getting in to. 

As you sit there in your chair,

Not having to truly care

She's with him, below deck.

In the steerage Sect

She dances with him to and fro.

So now where are you to go? 

Do you know what she does behind your back. 

Why of course, she's falling for Jack. 

Just thought I would warn you. 

So you won't be so blue. 

Cal Hockley, I care for you.

There was no signature. Nothing. Who wrote this? I asked myself. And what's more important what if it's true. 

I dashed to the door. I glanced down the hall, quickly spotting Mr. Lovejoy. I walked up to him.

"What is it?" He asked. 

"Read this." I shoved the paper at him. 

He silently read it to himself. "Who wrote this?" He asked. 

I shrugged my shoulders. "Well go find out!" I demanded. He knew exactly what I meant. He headed for the third-class. To see what truth lies behind this note.


	6. Just Your Average Day

****

~*Six*~

Just Your Average Day

I paced the length of my suite. Drinking down the crystal champagne. How could she do this to me? And behave like this? I didn't know what had gotten into her, really. But I had every intention of finding out. 

After about fifteen minutes, Mr. Lovejoy returned. Anger in his expression.

"Well? Did you find her?" I demanded. 

He nodded. "She is down there. With him. Dancing like common trash." He said coldly. 

The anger overwhelmed me. I screamed out a bit in frustration, throwing my champagne glass into the wall. Shattered pieces of crystal flung over the carpet.

"What me to get her?" Lovejoy asked.

I looked over to him, breathing a bit hard. "No." I managed to say. "I'll take care of it. Thank you, sir."

He nodded. 

"Listen, tomorrow. I have a feeling he'll try to show up again. Don't let him. Put him in his place!" I demanded. 

"Of course." He said in a low monotone.

"Good. Now leave me." I said. 

I watched him leave through the front doors, gently pulling them closed behind him. I walked over to the dresser with the mirror. I leaned over on it. My palms flat on the wood surface. 

I lifted my head and stared at my reflection on the glass. 

"Damn it!" I shouted, slamming my fist into the wood. Chipping it a bit.

I went into my wardrobe, taking out my pajamas and robe. I quickly got dressed in the fine nightwear. I sat in the comfortable chair, by the end table. I pulled the champagne bottle from the ice, and poured myself a drink. 

I drank it down quickly, before retiring to my bed. Anxious for the morning to arrive. 

I found sleep quickly. Greeted by dreams of Catherine at first, which I woke up from, feeling confused and irritated that she would plague my mind. Then as I drifted back off, I dreamt of my future wedding, to one of the most beautiful girls in the world: Rose Dewitt Bukater. 

* * *

Rose joined me for breakfast the following morning. On the promenade deck. The rising sun threw gentle shadows over the table.

We sat silent for a few moments. I was patiently waiting for Trudy to leave us. When she did, I turned my attention back to Rose. She sat staring at her plate and not at me. 

Guilt-ridden, I told myself. For behaving like an animal the night before. 

"I had hoped you would come to me last night." I spoke softly.

"I was tired." She still didn't look at me. 

"Your exertions below decks, were no doubt exhausting." I said, trying to remain cool and collected. 

She sipped her tea, then gently sat it back on the table. She finally looked at me a moment. Then turned away again.

"I see you had that undertaker of a manservant, follow me again. How typical." She said, she tensed a bit. But continued to keep her dignity.

"You will never behave like that again, Rose." I ordered calmly. "Do you understand me?"

"I'm not a foreman in one of your mills, that you can command. I am your fiancé." She said, staring into my eyes now. 

Something snapped in me. No wife of mine would behave like this. Who did she think she was? 

"My fiancé?" I asked quietly. Then was unable to hold it in any longer. I stood, glaring down at her. "My fiancé?! Yes you are! And my wife!" I slammed my hand under the breakfast table. Sending it and the expensive china noisily to the floor. I leaned over her, one hand on each arm rest of the chair. "My wife in practice. If not by law. So you will honor me! You will honor me the way a wife is required to honor a husband. I will not be made out a fool, Rose. Is this in any way unclear?" I asked. Still standing over her. I waited for her reply. 

Tears welled up in her eyes, but that didn't dim my anger. Finally she shook her head, saying 'no'.

I smiled. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me." I stood, seeing Trudy enter the room with the orange juice. 

I smiled politely at the maid, and walked past her. I walked out onto the deck. Mr. Guggenheim sat with J.J. Astor discussing world politics. 

"Good morning, gentlemen." I said kindly. Taking a seat beside John. 

"Morning, Cal. How are you doing?" John asked. 

I smiled. "Fine, sir." I looked out to the ocean. Feeling not the least bit guilty about what had just happened. 

"Well we must go dress for services." Mr. Guggenheim announced after a few minutes. 

I knew he was right. Ruth and Rose were probably already dressed. Though women seem to take forever in such instances. 

I followed beside the two men, in to B Deck. Which is where Mr. Guggenheim and my rooms were located. 

"I'll see you gentlemen in a few moments." John announced as he headed to his suite, which was on C Deck. 

I quickly got dressed in a fine black suit, white shirt and vest, black bowtie, and black leather shoes. 

I went to where the services were to be held. The Dining Saloon. Rose and Ruth were already seated when I arrived. 

"Mr. Lovejoy!" I called to my man. He stood in the doorway to the dining saloon. 

"Mr. Hockley." He replied.

"Remember what I said about Jack Dawson. Keep him away from here." I ordered quietly. So as not to make a scene. I waited for his answer. He nodded his head in understanding. 

His eyes were cold, ruthless, as they always had been. But in times like these he was a good man to have around. 

I entered the saloon, then stood at Rose's side. The hymn book in my hands now. Captain E.J. Smith stood before us leading us in chorus. We sang "Almighty Father Strong to Save" 

I heard a commotion at the doors. I turned my eyes trying not to make my staring known. Jack was at the doors. But I knew my man was taking care of him. 

"O hear us when we cry to thee, for those in peril on the sea." We sang in unison. Now that I had returned my attention to the songbook once more.

After the services ended, we went on a ship tour. With Mr. Thomas Andrews as the guide. 

I followed behind. Surveying the carved details, the chains, rails. Everything, but hardly listening to what Thomas was saying.

First we entered the gym. I sat down at the rowing machine. I picked up the ores and began moving them in a rowing fashion. 

I smiled up at them. "Reminds me of my days a Harvard." 

Ruth laughed a bit. I stood and rejoined the tour. 

"Next stop will be the bridge." Thomas announced. "This way."

We followed closely behind him. We were on the lower deck, I saw Catherine. She smiled at me, but I didn't return the gesture. 

When we reached the bridge, Captain Smith stood as if he was waiting for us. 

"Enjoying the tour?" He asked smiling. 

I nodded wearily. Though the tour didn't really matter to me. 

Bride, the wireless operator, raced up to the captain. 

"Another ice warning, Sir. This one's from the _Baltic_." He said, handing a paper to the captain. 

"Thank you, Sparks." Was the captain's reply. Bride turned and left. The captain glanced at the paper briefly before stuffing it into his pocket.

"Not to worry. Quite normal for this time of year. In fact, we're speeding up. I've just ordered the last boilers lit." He announced. 

Thomas glared at him a moment, before returning to the tour. 

"Follow me." He said. Rose at his side, Ruth behind her, and I behind them all. 

We were led to where the lifeboats were tied. Very absurd to see such a waste in deck space.

"I did the sum in my head. And forgive me, but the number of lifeboats, times the capacity you mentioned. There isn't enough for everyone on board." Rose said. 

I rolled my eyes, and turned around. I saw a strange man, he looked as though he was attempting to hide. Leaning on the rail. Then I saw her again, Catherine. Her daughter at her side now. 

I turned back to Thomas, and the women. Thomas was looking directly at Rose.

"'Bout half actually. Rose, you miss nothing. Do you?" He asked. 

I rolled my eyes again.

"In fact, I put in these new type davits, which can take an extra row of boats inside this one. But it was thought... by some... that the deck would look too cluttered. So I was over-ruled." Thomas sighed. 

Ruth took my arm, and we started to walk out in front of them. I tapped my cane on the side of the lifeboat. 

"It's a waste of deck space as it is, on an unsinkable ship." I laughed.

We continued to walk down the starboard side of the ship. 

"Where is Rose?" Ruth asked after a few minutes.

Mr. Andrews and I turned towards the bow. She was no where to be seen. 

I walked back a little. 

"Sweetpea?" I called out. Then I spotted her, she speedily walked up to us. 

"I'm sorry, Darling." She said as she approached me. 

"I was looking at the boats, and lost you." She laughed a little. 

I smiled, holding my arm out for her. She wrapped her arm around mine, and we continued the tour. 

"Well that concludes the tour." Mr. Andrews announced. After we had been shown the stern. I was personally thankful it was over. It was just a ship. Yes, I did believe it was the grandest ever. And was thoroughly enjoying the voyage. But must they talk about it all the time? I kept asking myself.

I escorted Rose and Ruth to their rooms. I lightly kissed Rose on the cheek. 

"We're going for tea, Mr. Hockley. Where do you plan to go?" Ruth asked. 

I looked over to her. "I think I'll go join the men, in the smoking room." I replied. 

"Good, we'll see you at dinner then." Ruth said politely. 

I nodded, taking my leave of them. Going to my room first. 


	7. Unexpected Love

****

~*Seven*~

Unexpected Love

I opened the door to my room. Stepping on a folded piece of paper. The same type as I had seen before. The one the poem was written on. 

I sat down on the edge of my bed. Confusion swamped me. I heard Rose and Ruth leaving. Then walk down the hall. I knew where they were going. I was grateful they didn't come here first.

Of course Ruth thought of me as a catch, I knew that. If I wanted privacy she gave it to me. It was like they needed me. Which I suppose they did.

I looked at the paper again. The same handwriting. Written in pencil. 

Cal,

I saw you today. 

At least I know you're okay. 

You were with her. 

I didn't wish to cause a stir. 

Can't you see, She's left your pack. 

She's fallen deeply for Jack. 

I want to see you, Cal. 

Even if you think me foul.

Please come to meet with me, 

Even if it's just to see,

What you mean to me.

Can't you hear my plea?

In your eyes, I know, I'm just a speck, 

But please meet me on the boat deck

You know it's not a sin,

All my love, Catherine. 

**Catherine. She must have written the first one as well. What do I do? I asked myself over and over. How could I feel anything for trash such as her? But I did, and I do. **

Rose, was an arrangement, whom I came to love. But was it possible for me to love someone like Catherine? Someone with no breeding, no money, power. Just a third class ticket and a fatherless daughter. 

A knock sounded on the door. "Mr. Hockley?" Lovejoy's voice rang out. 

I stuffed the paper into my pocket. "Come in Spicer." I called back. 

"What's wrong?" He asked. 

I hadn't even noticed, sweat had broken out on my forehead. From the confusion, no doubt. I removed the handkerchief from my pocket. 

"N-nothing." I stuttered. 

He eyed me suspiciously. "Are you coming to the smoking room, sir?" He asked. 

I couldn't think straight. And couldn't find the words to answer him. Finally I shook my head. 

"Actually, I'm not feeling to well. I think I'll just lie down." I said. 

"You want me to fetch the physician?" He offered. 

I shook my head. 

He nodded, then left. Closing the door tightly behind him. 

I pulled out the paper again. "Meet me on the boat deck." I read aloud. 

"God, what do I do?" I asked myself. Speaking softly, though no one was near. I thought back to her beauty. Her eyes which had captured me. Like I could look into her soul. And she into mine. 

If she could, I hated to think what she thought of my darkened soul. I wasn't the nicest man in the world. I knew that. But I wanted to be kind to her. A part of me wanted to rush to her, hugging her. Then there was this part of me, that referred to her as trash, steerage, not of my world. 

At that moment, I didn't know what to do. I sat thinking for the longest time, before standing and exiting my room. 

I went to the deck, walking slowly. Trying to find words to say to her. She wasn't proper, or well-mannered as far as I knew. My thoughts kept going back to her class, instead of her. Never had I been so confused.

"Cal!" I heard a woman's voice. The French accent. I turned to her. She leaned on the port side railing.

I slowly approached her. Holding my head up, in proper posture. Though trying to not make eye contact. What was I doing here? I asked myself. I didn't belong here. 

"Hello." I said. I stood at her side now. Leaning on the rail also.

"I didn't think you would show up." She said, smiling. Her smile was so perfect. I had to turn away. 

"Listen your poetry is remarkable, but this is impossible." I said, trying to stabilize my voice, but was unsuccessful. Why was I nervous? I didn't know. 

She shook her head. "I understand. I only wanted to see you again, before the ship docks. Then I would lose every chance of speaking to you again." 

I forced a smile, then went back to looking at the ocean, spraying out under the boat.

I could feel her eyes on me. What was this hold she had on me? I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Is there something wrong, Cal?" She asked softly.

I sighed and shook my head. She replaced her hand on the rail. I sighed again. For once I didn't mind that a third-class passenger had touched me. I didn't think about their filth, only about her touch.

"Where's Rose and Jack?" She asked nonchalantly. 

I turned my attention to her. "Rose is not with him!" I tried to restrain my anger. 

She nodded, then turned away from me. "Whatever you say, Cal."

We stood silent for a few moments. Several passengers from the third-class passed. I turned my back to them, wishing they couldn't see me. 

"Mr. Hockley?"

I turned around. Mr. Andrews stood at the rail beside me, with his notebook. 

"Mr. Andrews." I bowed a little. "How are you this afternoon?" 

He looked at me in confusion. "It's alright." I mouthed the words to him. He squinted at me, trying to figure out my presence here, no doubt. Finally he turned to leave. I sighed in relief.

The sun was setting behind the ocean. The sky was a beautiful rainbow of colors. Pink, orange, blue, black. 

"So where is Melissa's father?" I asked, not looking at her. Only trying to make conversation. 

"He passed on. About a year ago." She replied sadly. 

I jerked my head up. I wasn't aware she had endured such a loss. "I'm sorry." I said politely. 

She waved a hand, silencing me. "It's okay." 

"Where is Melissa anyway?" I asked. Looking around the area. The little girl was no where to be seen. 

"She's off with a friend, she met just yesterday." She answered. 

I nodded. At least someone's voyage had good results so far. Mine hadn't. All it had been was Rose behaving badly, and rudely. Boring ship talk. Meeting a man, whom I now hated. And falling for a third-class woman. Not my idea of the best wedding present. Which really it was, for myself. I laughed out loud accidentally.

"What?" She snapped. A bit angered by my outburst. 

"Nothing." I calmed myself. "Where do you live, Catherine?"

"Titanic." She answered.

I rolled my eyes, remembering Dawson had said the same thing. "Don't you have a real home?" I asked. 

She shrugged. "I'll get a job in America." She said proudly.

"Is this your first time going there?" I asked, looking at her again. She looked like something from a romantic painting of a woman. Her hair whipping out behind her. Golden in the sunlight. Splendid. Her eyes shown with a great brilliance in the setting sun.

"Yes." She replied simply. "I have no idea, where I'll go, or who I'll meet there. But it's an adventure I know I'll never forget." 

She turned smiling at me again. I looked back to the water, not wanting to fall into her more. 

"How'd you get on Titanic?" I asked, still trying to raise a good subject for conversation. 

"I made dresses." She laughed. "Elegant dresses." 

"You're a seamstress?" I asked, a bit appalled. 

She nodded. "I love it! Seeing all the fine clothes. Helping to make them. It's fun." 

I sighed. A seamstress? Why did I feel this way about a seamstress? My mind thought back to Rose. My fiancé. I had to keep reminding myself of that detail. 

I knew I had to get back to the upper decks, before I was found out. 

"Look, it was great visiting with you." I said, faking a smile. Out of habit really, because I was actually thrilled that I had had the time to talk to her again. "But, I have to get back up to my people." 

She nodded sadly.

"May I escort you back to your cabin?" I offered. 

She smiled then nodded. 

I held my arm out, allowing her to take hold. But she didn't. She looked at me a moment, then I realized she was not used to these gestures. Finally she did take my arm, though. Leading the way to her cabin. Down a different staircase.

We arrived at her door, too quickly actually. I wanted to stay. But everywhere I went with her. I felt as though I was being followed or watched. 

She opened the door then turned back to me. I looked over her shoulder, seeing that no one was in there. Not even Melissa. Who must surely be with her friend still. After all it was not yet dinner time. 

"Well thanks for coming." She smiled. 

"My pleasure." I took her hand in mine, leaning down to kiss her knuckles. 

"I guess this is goodbye." She said, sadly.

I sighed. Then turned to leave, she turned to her room. About to close the door. 

"Catherine!" I said, turning to her. I pushed the door open again. 

"What is it, Cal?" She asked, a bit surprised by my return. 

I placed my hands on her shoulders then, pressed my lips to hers. She pushed me away, staring at me. Almost in awe. She was embarrassed clearly. So was I.

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for and-" I couldn't finish my sentence. I realized I wasn't sorry. 

I took her in my arms again, kissing her deeply. Pushing her back into her room. I pushed the door closed with the heel of my shoe. 

She broke the kiss, still in my arms. I ran my hand through her golden-blond hair. "What is it?" I asked. 

"Cal, we can't do this. It's just you are who you are…. And I'm just… me… This is impossible. You said that yourself." She said trying to pull from my grasp. 

I kissed her again. Then I looked into her eyes. "I don't care. Right now nothing matters, but you." 

She smiled, tears in her eyes. She pulled me to the bunk. Her arms around my neck. Mine around her petite waist. She sat down on the edge of the bed, causing me to have to bend over to kiss her. 

She slipped her hands under my jacket, sliding it from my shoulders. I did the same to her sweater. 

She neatly laid my jacket on the bed. Trying not to damage or wrinkle it. But honestly, I didn't care about the jacket then. 

I kissed her again. Acting so unlike me. I wondered if I was me. What had overcome me, I couldn't be certain. It all just seemed right. I yanked the faded cotton dress over her head. Kissing her neck now. 

She carefully unbuttoned my vest and shirt. Again laying them carefully on the bed. 

"Cal, maybe we really shouldn't be doing this." She spoke softly in my ear.

Down deep I knew she was right, and still I continued. I kicked off my shoes, She unfastened my pants, they fell forgotten to the floor. 

I laid atop her. Savoring the feel of her. Forgetting about Rose completely at that moment. I made love to her, as though we were long time lovers. When we weren't even friends. 

As I lay there beside her, after the actual act was over. It hit me, what I had just done. I quickly stood and got dressed. She sat up, holding the White Star Line blanket around her. 

"Where are you going?" She asked. 

"I have to get out of here." I replied. I couldn't let anyone know. I had to get to Rose, shower her with gifts, and hopefully clear my guilty conscience. 

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked sadly. 

I leaned down to her again. "No, okay? You did everything perfectly. I just…. It's just… Look, I can't be here. You know that." I was angry, but not at her, at myself. 

"Tell no one about this." I ordered. I pulled my jacket over my shoulders. Pulling out my roll of money. I left some on the little table. 

"I don't want your money." She said angrily.

"Remember don't tell anyone." I went to the door.

"But, Cal, will I get to see you again?" She asked desperately. Probably the most difficult words I had ever had to hear. And my reply was even more difficult. 

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry." 

She turned away from me, and I raced out into the hallway. Closing the door behind me. Leaning on the wall. 

I had to get back to Rose and the rest of my world.


	8. Jack, the Honest Thief

****

~*Eight*~  
Jack, the Honest Thief

After leaving Catherine, which was hard in itself. I quickly discovered Rose was nowhere to be found. I found Ruth at the table with the Countess of Rothes. But Rose was not with her.

Odd, I thought to myself. Then Mr. Lovejoy approached me. 

"Anything wrong?" He asked in his gruff, serious voice. 

"Where's Rose?" I spat back, trying to hold my voice low. 

"I haven't seen her." He replied. 

"Well find her." I ordered. I turned from him, and walked into the smoking room. 

"Hey, Cal!" Mr. Astor called out. 

I forced one of my million-dollar smiles to the table he was sitting at. 

"Evening, gentlemen. About ready for some more brandy?" I asked, laughing a bit. 

"Always." Mr. Guggenheim replied. 

Everyone laughed. I sat down with the men. The steward lit my cigar. We sat communing about our millions. The same chatter that always took place among us. My mind was on Catherine. I knew I would never see her again. And that's how it was supposed to be. But she still plagued my mind.

Spicer Lovejoy reappeared in the room, motioning for me to come to him. 

"Excuse me, gentlemen." I said standing. 

"Of course." Colonel Gracie replied. 

"Well?" I asked standing before my valet.

"None of these stewards have seen her." He said in his normal monotone. 

"This is absurd. It's a ship. There's only so many places she could be. Lovejoy, find her!" I said powerfully, yet quietly. 

He left again. I returned to the table. "Sorry about that, gentlemen." I laughed a bit. I was welcomed back into the conversation immediately, naturally.

The Colonel started a card game. Which I didn't participate in. I only sat watching and sipping my brandy.

"I've got fifty bucks, that says we'll make it to New York on Tuesday night!" Gracie announced. I was hardly listening.

I looked towards the doors. No sign of Lovejoy. I pulled out my golden pocket watch. Damn near 11:30 pm. Where could she be? 

I headed for the door as the group of men and dwindled away. Lovejoy raced down the man stairwell. 

"She's with him, again." He said, panting a bit. I could tell he had been running. "I chased them over the whole damn ship, but lost them." 

I looked at him. "Hmm." I said thinking. "Where was the last place you seen them?" 

"Storage room." He replied. "They were in your bedroom. The safe is locked though." 

I immediately headed back to my room. My safe may have been locked. But Rose knew the combination. 

I burst through the door to our suite. Going straight to the wardrobe. Lovejoy right behind me. He searched the rest of the rooms, and I unlocked the green safe. 

"Anything missing?" He asked, standing in the doorway. I could see there was not. Everything was in it's place including something added. 

I looked back to Lovejoy, as I pulled the object out. It was a leather binder, with a note from Rose. The note read: "Darling, Now you can keep up both locked in your safe, Rose." 

I flipped open the front flap. To see the most horrible thing ever. My Rose. A drawing of her. Completely naked, sketched. Remarkable likeness. I knew it was drawn from life. 

The date was labeled at the bottom. April 14, 1912. With this initials J.D. scribbled in the corner. 

Anger enveloped me. Here I had been feeling so extremely guilty about Catherine. While Rose frolicked and posed nude with that heathen Jack Dawson. 

I read the note once more, before crumpling it with the drawing. I was intent on ripping them in half. But another idea crossed my mind. I drew the papers away from me. Straightening out the wrinkles. 

I turned to Lovejoy. "I've got a better idea." I said, calmly.

He stepped up to me. Looking over my shoulder at the portrait. 

"When they return, and they will. You know it." I said, taking out the case containing The Heart Of The Ocean. "Place this in Mr. Dawson's pocket." 

He nodded taking the blue gem from me, neatly placing it in his pocket.

A shudder in the ship's calm voyage, knocked me forward.

"What was that?" Lovejoy asked. 

I looked from him, back to the safe. "Who cares." I spun the combination lock, securing my fortunes. 

"Remember, don't let anyone see you do it." I ordered. 

He nodded. I left through the sitting room, rushing out into the hall. Which was abnormally crowded. 

A steward passed by. 

"You there, hey you!" I tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Please, sir, there is no emergency." He said. I didn't understand what he meant by that. 

"Yes there is! I have been robbed! Get the master-at-arms." I shouted. 

He stood there dumbstruck.

"Now, you moron!" I shouted. He ran in the opposite direction. I waited in my state room until the Master-at-arms showed up. 

I pounded on the door to Ruth's room. I heard her stir within. 

"What all the commotion, Mr. Hockley?" She asked. She wore her night dress, with a red robe over it. 

"Rose is missing and I have been robbed." I said. 

She clasped a hand over her mouth. She was clearly shocked. The Master-at-arms walked in. 

"What's wrong, sir?" He asked in his Scottish accent.

"I have been robbed." I repeated the same thing again. "A very expensive jewel was stolen from me. The Heart of The Ocean. And Rose is no where to be found." 

I took out the pictures again, shoving them at the master-at-arms. 

He looked at them in turn. 

"I think they are very good, sir." He said. 

I jumped up from where I was seated, snatching the pictures from him. "Don't touch anything! I want the entire room photographed." I exclaimed. 

Then I spotted Rose in the doorway, Jack right behind her. 

"Something serious has happened." Rose was saying.

Lovejoy silently nodded to me. I knew he had done his task. 

"Indeed, two things very dear to me have disappeared tonight. Now that one is back…" I looked from Rose to Jack. "I have a pretty good idea where to find the other." 

I turned to the master-at-arms. "Search him!" 

They moved to Dawson, stripping him of his jacket. Searching every pocket. 

"Is this it?" Stewart Barnes asked pulling the blue stone from the pocket of the jacket.

"That's it." I said in disgust. 

"This is horseshit!" Jack exclaimed. 

Rose's expression purely stunned, as well as Jack's. I of course, knew what had really happened. I didn't feel the slightest bit guilty about framing him either. 

The master-at-arms moves in with the handcuffs. Locking Mr. Dawson's hands behind his back. 

"Don't you believe it Rose. Don't! You know I didn't do it, Rose!" Jack pleaded. 

Rose still looked shocked, I walked over to her.

"He couldn't have." She said.

"Of course he could. It's easy enough for a professional." Was my reply. 

"He was with me the whole time, this is absurd." Rose's voice almost frantic.

I leaned in close to her. "Perhaps he did it while you were putting your clothes back on, dear." I whispered.

"Yeah, you're real slick, Cal. Rose, they put it in my pocket!" He continued to plead. 

"It isn't even your pocket, is it son?" Lovejoy asked, holding up the jacket, looking at the inside label. "'Property of A. L. Ryerson.'"

"That was reported stolen today." The master-at arms replied. 

This was all too great. I was framing him, and yet he had stolen something.

"I was just borrowing it." Jack spoke up. 

"Oh an honest thief? We have an honest thief here." I laughed. 

I watched happily as Lovejoy and the master-at-arms carried Jack away. 

His voice still rang out through the hall. "Rose, don't listen to them... I didn't do this! You know I didn't! You know it!"

After a few moments. A calm fell over the room. I was so thoroughly angry. She had removed her clothes for him, at that moment I didn't know the extent that had led to. But I had a pretty good idea. 

All thoughts of Catherine were now gone from my mind. All I could think about was Rose's slutty behavior. 

"I better go dress." Ruth said, when she heard the commotion in the hall. She retreated to her room. 

I leaned in the doorway staring at Rose across the room. I walked over to her.

"It is a little slut. Isn't it?" I accused. I slapped her violently across the face. "Look at me you little -" My sentence was cut short by Steward Barnes. 

"Sir, I've been told to ask you to put on your lifebelt and come up to the deck." He said.

"Get out! We're busy!" I said angrily.

The steward came in against my wishes. "I'm sorry about the inconvenience, Mr. Hockley, but it's Captain's orders. Please dress warmly, it's quite cold out tonight."

He brought out two lifebelts. Ugly things. White padded. What was the point the was trying to make?

"This is ridiculous." I mumbled to myself. 

I was glad when the steward finally left.


	9. The Unsinkable, Sinks

****

~*Nine*~

The Unsinkable Sinks

I looked back to Rose. She still held her hand over her cheek. I hadn't realized how hard I had hit her. But she was my fiancé. Some poor excuse for a man, named Jack Dawson, would not get in the way of that.

I left her without saying a word, going back to my room to dress. I still wore the suit I had gone to third-class in. The same that Catherine had removed from my body. I suddenly felt sick, at the thought of it. How could this be happening to me? 

Rose slutting around with a third-class passenger was bad enough. But I wasn't any better. I had done the same thing. My only advantage? No one knew about my escapades. They did hers. 

I dressed quickly, over my suit I wore a coat. As the steward had advised. I picked up one of my many, black hats. And placed it on my head. I glanced in the full-length mirror. "A true gentleman." I said smiling as I looked at my reflection.

I exited the room. Rose stood with her mother, Ruth. Ruth was dressed in a fine red sequined dress. With a red coat over. Rose, on the other hand, still wore the same white and blue dress. 

Absurd, I thought to myself. The least she could do was dress properly. Ruth took my arm and with my other hand I held the lifebelts. Rose walked behind us, as if in a dream. I didn't know what had gotten into her, or the rest of the damned ship. Everyone scurried around as if in a panic. 

We arrived in the A-Deck foyer. Molly Brown stood a few feet away from us. Saying something to a steward who stumbled up the grand staircase. 

Through the conversations I overheard. I knew we had struck an iceberg. But I still didn't know what all the raucous behavior was about. This ship was unsinkable, so why panic? 

"It's the damned English doing everything by the book." I announced as a steward ran past me. 

"No need for language, Mr. Hockley." Was Ruth's reply. "Go back and turn on the heat in our rooms, Trudy. I should like some tea when I return." 

I watched as the maid disappeared behind us. Then I spotted Mr. Thomas Andrews walking towards us in a daze. I squinted my eyes, to make sure I was seeing him right. I was, his expression was pure sadness, guilt.

Rose walked over to him. As he continued to survey the room. I followed closely behind her. Leaving Ruth leaning on the carved wall. 

"I saw the iceberg, Mr. Andrews. And I see it in your eyes." She spoke softly to the master shipbuilder. "Please tell me the truth." 

I leaned in close to them. To perfectly hear his response. He made eye contact with me for a moment, then turned back to Rose.

"The ship will sink." Came his words, which I never thought anyone would hear. This was impossible, I said to myself.

Rose clasped a hand to her mouth in surprise. "For certain?"

"Yes." He said looking from her back to me. "In an hour or so. All of this will be at the bottom of the Atlantic." He motioned to the fine first class foyer.

"My God." I said, rather rudely. I was so completely caught of guard. This ship couldn't sink, that was completely impossible. I looked at Mr. Andrews once more, and I knew he spoke the truth.

His soul was in that ship, every rivet, every deck, everything. It was a part of him, and I could tell he felt the mortal wounds of his great creation.

"Please tell only who you must, I don't want to be responsible for a panic. And get to a boat quickly. Don't wait. You remember what I told you about the boats?" He spoke softly, but seriously to Rose. 

"I understand." She said. 

So did I, though I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I was still thoroughly shocked. Mr. Andrews looked at me one more time, before scampering up the grand staircase. Warning people to put on their lifebelts as he went.

We walked with Molly Brown up to the deck. I looked astern then to the bow. I saw the fear in the officers' eyes. I knew everything was true. But I also knew, I would get off this ship. So would Rose and Ruth. Everything would work out, I knew it.

I felt someone place something in my pocket. A paper, I turned to see Catherine. Walking away with Melissa. Going back inside. I knew they were making a mistake. A big one, but I couldn't risk being seen, so I let her go.

I unfolded the paper. Another poem was scribbled in pencil. 

Cal,

I watch you from afar.   
I'm third class, you see.   
I don't reach your bar.   
I guess this is how it's supposed to be.   
  
You say you love her. You want her so.  
But she loves him.   
Jack, ya know.  
So who cares about them?  
  
I love you, Mr. Hockley. Don't you know?  
When I first saw you pass?  
I wanted you so.  
But, it's like you're guarded by glass.   
  
I may not be a rich girl.   
I may never leave this ship.   
But, You've got me in a whirl.   
You make my heart skip.   


When we made love, 

I felt complete. I felt whole

It was sent from above. 

You saved my soul. 

  
This ship is quickly sinking. 

I see you run. 

I've just been thinking. 

I may never again see the sun. 

But, I write this to you,

To say my love is true. 

Cal Hockley, I love you.

Until we meet again, 

All my love, Catherine.

****

I wanted her to know how I felt. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her. 

"What's that, Mr. Hockley?" Ruth asked, motioning to the paper.

"Nothing." I smiled. Shoving the paper into my pocket. 

She nodded, then turned back to Officer Lightoller. 

"Oh, I forgot my brooch. I must go back for it." Ruth said, attempting to pass me. Wanting to go back to our state rooms. 

I held my hand on her shoulder. Looking into her eyes. Letting her see the fear in me. I knew if she went back, we may very well never see her again. 

I tightened my grip on her shoulder. "No, Ruth. Stay here." I demanded. She was clearly surprised by the firmness of my grasp. She slowly nodded and turned away from me. Back to the lifeboats. 

Down the deck a piece. Officer Murdoch was busy lowering the first lifeboat. I turned back to Rose. Confusion and terror in her eyes. 

"Women and children only please!" Officer Lightoller announced. Helping a woman into the boat. Molly Brown also helped. 

"Right this way, sister." She was saying to a reluctant woman.

"Any room for a gentleman, gentlemen?" I asked, laughing nervously. 

Of course I knew what his answer would be. "Only women and children at this time, sir." Lightoller replied. 

I nodded and stepped back. 

"Must the lifeboats be seated according to class? I hope they're not too crowded." Ruth said, not looking at Rose and I. Not really staring at anything but the darkness over the water.

"Oh shut up, mother!" Rose exclaimed. 

Ruth and I turned to Rose, staring at her for her rude outburst. 

"Don't you understand? The water is freezing, and there are not enough boats. Not enough by half. Half of the people on this ship are going to die." She lectured. 

I continued to stare at her. Finally she turned to me. 

"Not the better half." I smiled. I immediately felt a bit sorry for my words. I knew I, myself, would lose friends on this ship. Simply because we were men. 

Ruth had already boarded the lifeboat with the help of Mrs. Brown. 

"Come on, Rose. You're next, darlin'." Mrs. Brown held out a hand to Rose. 

I smiled knowing Rose would get off safely. And everything would go ahead as planned. There was nothing Dawson could do about it now. He was locked below deck with my man, Spicer Lovejoy. Of course.

"You know it's a pity I didn't keep that drawing. It'll be worth a lot more by morning." I smiled.

"You unimaginable bastard." She spoke softly, staring into my eyes. 

Her words didn't damage me in the least. I only smiled, and slung a lifebelt into the boat. For Rose, of course.

She stood staring for a long moment. 

"Go on, it's almost full." I said. Waiting for her to get into the boat.

"Rose," Ruth said. "Get into the boat." 

"Yes, go on, Rose." I said looking at her.

"Goodbye, mother." She said calmly. Then walked away from us quickly.

I took off after her, catching up quickly. I grabbed her shoulder and spun her to me. "Where are you going?!" I demanded.

She squirmed in my grasp. "Let go." She said sternly. 

"Where are you going? To him? Is that it? To be a whore to that gutter rat?" I asked cruelly.

She stared up into my eyes. "I'd rather be his whore, than your wife." 

Her words hit me hard, but I managed to keep my posture. Still not releasing her. I viscously drug her towards the lifeboat. I felt a jab in my arm, and quickly realized she had stabbed me with a hairpin. 

I cursed out, as I involuntarily released her. She raced through the crowds and disappeared out of my sight. I raced after her. Finally I spotted her again. She pointed me out to two men. Then took off running again.When I approached them they restrained me. "Let go, gentlemen. That is my fiancé!" I shouted. Straining to release myself from their grasp.

I followed her into the first class dining area. But was caught up in a large crowd. I pushed through them rudely. I ran down to the A-Deck foyer. I scanned the empty area. Rose was gone. She was no where to be seen.

I ran back up the grand staircase. Spotting Mr. Lovejoy racing to me. 

"There you are, sir." He said. I walked up to stand before him on the landing. "Where is, Miss. Rose?" 

"She ran off. Look, find her, okay?" I said. Anger and hate filled my voice. Though I attempted to remain a gentleman. He continued down the staircase. Disappearing into the crowd of ladies and gentlemen. 

I went back to the deck, pushing though everyone. Not caring about their curses and swears. I heard Mr. Andrews lecturing Officer Lightoller about the boats being launched half-full. I glanced out at the little boats. It was true most were almost empty. 

I knew I had to act fast, if I was to live. I raced over to the port side rail. Looking towards the bow. Water was already spilling over the rails. I saw the Captain in the distance, looking on in despair. I felt sorry for the old man, his retirement, ending like this.

"She's not on the starboard side either." Mr. Lovejoy spoke from behind me. I turned to him.

"We're running out of time." I said, trying to remain calm. I pointed to Lightoller. "And this strutting martinet isn't letting any men on at all." I said with disgust in my voice. 

"There's one on the other side letting men on." Came his reply. 

I looked at him, thinking for a moment before answering. "Well then that's our play. But we'll need some insurance first." 

I led the way back to my state room. Directly going to my safe, and opening it quickly. I pulled out several stacks of cash. Stuffing my pockets. 

"I make my own luck." I smiled, looking at him. 

He opened his jacket, revealing a pistol with a pearl handle. Tucked conveniently in his waist band. "So do I." He said grimly.

I laughed a bit, as I continued to load my pockets. 

I pulled out the black case, containing the Heart of the Ocean. I removed the necklace, and threw the case to the floor. I stuff this in my pocket with the money.

When I was sure I had all that I would need, I closed and locked the safe. We walked in a hurry to the first class dining room. I quickly spotted Benjamin Guggenheim and his butler. Dressed in dinner suits and top hats. 

"Ben, what's the occasion?" I asked as we approached them. 

"We are dressed in our best, and prepared to go down as gentlemen." He replied. Seating himself in a elegant chair. The butler stood behind him. 

"That's noble, Sir." I turned a began walking away. I glanced back at him. "I'll be sure to tell your wife when I get to New York." I laughed a bit. 

I heard him order a brandy. What a fool. I thought to myself. I raced back to the starboard side of the boat deck. Lovejoy right behind me. Our walk was that of power and determination. I wasn't letting anything keep me on this ship. I knew Lovejoy felt the same way. 

When I reached the deck, a seaman was throwing the deck chairs over the side of the ship. Panic was setting in quickly now. I could feel the pull, the deck slowly becoming a sloping hill of death. All classes mixed together carelessly now. No one cared about class or money now…

except I. 

I glanced around searching briefly for Catherine. I had treated her like a common whore, paying her that way. But at the time, I didn't realize how much she meant to me. I only cared about myself. Even as I write this to you now, I don't know what I would have done differently. 

When we reached First Officer Murdoch, he was lowering his last boat. 

"We're too late." I exclaimed. 

"There's more boats all the way forward." Lovejoy said. "But stay with this one… Murdoch… He seems to be quite practical." 

Just then gunshots were heard. We both turned in the direction. 

"Hurry, it's falling apart. We don't have much time." I said. 

He nodded. He walked down the deck, shoving his way through the crowds.

I saw Officer Murdoch start for the bow section of the boat. I raced up and began walking beside him.

"Mr. Murdoch." I said. Struggling to keep up with him. 

"You men, down here now!" He shouted to several men. Finally he looked at me. "Mr. Hockley." 

"I'm a business man, as you know. And I have a business proposition for you." I said, wanting to pay for a seat on one of the lifeboats. 

We walked a bit further. Finally he stopped walking and turned to me. Staring into my eyes. I shoved a bundle of bills into the pocket of his uniform. He glanced down at the money. Then stared back up at me.

"We have an understanding, then?" I asked. 

He slowly nodded. "As you've said." 

"Good." I smiled.

I stepped back, satisfied. Mr. Ismay waited for the boat as well. Though he pretended to be merely helping to load it. 

"Any more women and children?" Murdoch called out.

"There's no one else, sir." Ismay replied. 

"Right, Anyone else, then?" Murdoch called out. Turning to me, allowing me my seat on this lifeboat. 

I started to go forward. Mr. Lovejoy came up behind me. I turned to him. 

"I've found her, she's on the port side. With him." He said grimly. 

I gasped a little in the frusteration. I turned back to Murdoch. He stared at me, waiting for me to come forward. 

"Damn it all to hell." I said in anger. I turned away from the lifeboat. "Come on!" I shouted to Lovejoy. 

We went to the other side, taking a shortcut over the bridge. Lovejoy pointed to where Rose stood before the lifeboat. Lightoller was in control of it. Jack's arms wrapped around her, only angering me further.

A man was saying goodbye to his wife and children. A sad sight, most definitely. But I was happy to have found Rose again. 

I pushed Jack away from her. Stripping her of the awful looking blanket, and placing my jacket over her shoulders. 

"Look at you." I said. In disgust at her appearance. Not caring about the cold really. Her clothes were drenched. Her hair in tangles. It was simply dreadful. 

"Quickly, ladies. Step into the boat." Lightoller announced.

"Go, Rose." Jack said placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Not without you." She said softly. 

I rolled my eyes at this awful display of affection to a third-class person. Then my mind shot back to Catherine for a brief moment. God, where was she and Melissa?

I looked back to Rose. "Listen, I have an arrangement with an officer on the other side of the ship. Jack and I can get off safely. Both of us." I glared over at Jack. Wondering if he knew of my lie. I wouldn't take him if I had to. It was simply to get Rose safely into the boat.

"See?" Jack said looking at me. "Got my own boat to catch." 

Rose hugged him again, tears in her eyes. "Not without you!" She said to Jack. I clenched my jaw at the sound of those words. 

"Get in the boat, it's almost full." I struggled out my words. 

Just then Lightoller grabbed her arm and forced her to sit in the boat. 

"Lower Away!" He motioned with his hands. The boat jerked, and started downward. 

Jack and I stared over the rail. Rose's head turned in every direction, confusion once again filling her eyes. 

"You're a good liar." I said softly. So no passerby could hear. 

"Almost as good as you." He said sarcastically. Then he turned his head to me. His blue eyes were a bit misty from the coming tears. "There is no arrangement, is there?" 

"Oh there is. Not that you'll benefit much from it." I stared back at him. "I always win, Jack." I actually struggled over the words. "One way or another." I forced a smile.

I knew I wouldn't be happy with Rose. But what was happiness with out my fortunes, which I could never have with Catherine. Yes, I loved them both. For different reasons. 

I turned away from Jack. As he stared down at Rose. His hands clutching each other. As if he was extremely nervous. Which I suppose he was. 

My hands were gently relaxed on the rail. I had nothing to worry about. Murdoch would come through for me, I knew that.

Rose looked around as if in a daze. Then she stared back up, but not at me. At him. Then she did the most unimaginable thing. She jumped from the lifeboat. Lunging herself onto the A-Deck promenade. 

"ROSE!" Jack screamed, he leaned far over the rail.

"Stop her!" I ordered. I spun around. Jack was already running. I ran after him. Getting caught up in a throng of people.

Finally I made to the A-Deck foyer. I leaned over the rail to see them. Together. Hugging and kissing. Hatred overtook me. Also a feeling of defeat. I leaned on the rail. They couldn't see me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. Out of restraint, one would think. It was Mr. Lovejoy. He pulled me from the rail. Walking a pace in front of me. 

Hatred over took me. I lashed my hand out, reaching into his jacket. Pulling out the gun, I had seen earlier. With gun in hand I turned from him. Running full speed along the railing. 

I screamed out in anger, and I headed down the stairs. I fired off a bullet. Jack pulled Rose and himself, out of harm's reach. I hit the decorative banister piece instead. Busting it in two halves, which fell to the floor.

I fired again, missing, as I tripped on the cherub banister piece. I fell to the floor. The silver pistol flew from my hands. I drunkenly stood, quickly picking up the gun. Continuing with the chase. 

The continued down the staircase. I could see the bottom was completely flooded. They ran into the water. I fired at them again. Spouts of water shot up around them. In my frustration I was not the greatest shot. 

I dove into the water full-force. Struggling to move my legs in the ice cold ocean water. I fired one last shot. Hitting the glass door and not either of them. 

"Damn!" I said in anger. "I hope you enjoy your time together!" I shouted. I didn't think either of them would truly survive. 

The ship made a sickening groan. I was petrified suddenly. Mr. Lovejoy, slowly descended the stairs. We started to walk back up to the deck. To get on a boat. 

I started laughing uncontrollably. I looked up at him, and him at me. 

"What could possibly be funny?" He asked in a grave tone. 

"I put the diamond, in the coat. And I put the coat on her!" I shouted. Then I got to thinking. I didn't want her to have it at all, even if she would perish in this tragedy.

"I'll give it to you." I said dryly. "If you can get it." 

I could tell he was thinking about it. I smiled and left him. Walking back up the staircase. When I reached the boat deck again. The band played a waltz. People were running, screaming, and jumping off the ship. 

I looked to my left. I saw Melissa, huddled in the corner crying. She was in shock clearly. Catherine was no where to be seen. 

Against my better judgment I left her there. I ran up to Murdoch's boat, he was currently loading. 

I waved my hands at him, trying to get his attention. He pulled out his gun, firing two shots into the air. I stopped in my tracks. 

"I'll shoot anyone who tries to get past me! Get back!" He ordered. 

I cautiously stepped forward. "We had a deal, damn you!" I said. 

He looked at me, then whipped my money from his pocket. He threw it into my chest. "You're money isn't going to save you anymore, than it can save me." He said angrily. "Now get back!" He pointed the gun at my chest. 

I did as he said. Thoroughly angry and feeling betrayed. A third-class man was shoved out of the crowd. Reflexively Murdoch shot the man down. An Italian man, also third-class, knelt beside him. Obviously friends. I looked from the dead man, back to Officer Murdoch. 

He saluted his men. Then lifted the pistol to his temple.

"No, Will!" One of the men called out. It was too late. Murdoch shot himself before us all. He fell over the rail. 

I raced through the crowds again. Knowing now, I had no arrangement. I knew I couldn't die. And I wouldn't. There had to be a way. Then I remembered her. Melissa. I raced back to where she was hiding. 

"Melissa? Melissa, it's me Cal." I said, trying to bring her from her shock. She couldn't being herself to speak. I grabbed her up in my arms. Not caring about her dirty clothes. Or her class now. All I wanted was to get off that damn ship. 

I raced to Purser McElroy. Pushing through the crowds. "Here's a child! I have a child." I looked at the Purser. "Please, I'm all she has in the world." I put on a pleading expression. 

He looked at my suit, then her dingy clothes. He squinted at me, surely he knew I was lying. My heart raced. Finally he nodded his head to the boat.

"Alright, go on." He said. 

I stepped into the boat. Holding Melissa in my lap. She searched the crowds, most likely for her mother. 

Now that I was safe. I began to look around as well. Though I knew she was gone. Gone forever, like Rose.

Melissa starting bawling again. "Shh. There. There." I said rocking her a bit. Avoiding eye contact with the women of the boat.

The band's vocalist began singing the beginning words to "Nearer my God to thee.". Melissa sat at my side now. I had almost forgotten her. My attention then rested on the ropes to collapsible A, which was the boat I was on. Lightoller struggled with the lines. The ship was sinking fast now. 

"Cut them! Cut them if you have to!" Lightoller shouted. 

Panic swept over me and the women in the lifeboat. Our boat was already in the water. And as the ship sank the suction was pulling on our boat. 

The ship lunged suddenly. Several hundred people were washed into the water. The people struggled to get into our boat. I picked up an ore. And began pressing them back.

"Get back! You'll swamp us!" I did this not only for myself. But everyone in the boat. We were full up. And any added weight would surely sink us. 

We crashed into the forward funnel, which fallen only moments earlier. I turned to the crew. "Row! Row you bastards!" I ordered.

They did as I commanded. We began to sail away from the ship. I sank back into my seat. Staring at the horror behind us. The propellers were a good twenty feet in the air. Rising dramatically fast. 

"My God." I whispered. As the thought of it overwhelmed me. My friends, my loves were on that ship. While I was here safe, and rowing away from the nightmare. 

I stared on in horror as people slid down the A-Deck promenade. Falling to their deaths. I couldn't take my eyes from the devastating event. Even though I tried so hard to.

The propellers now one-hundred-fifty feet above the ocean. Men, women and children falling over the rails. Clinging to the deck. The lights flickered. Everyone in my boat was silent. The crew working hard to pull away from the dying ship's suction. 

A loud gasp rang out through each of us. As the sound of breaking metal was heard. The sound was deafening. Only minutes later did we realize what was happened. The boat split. Between the second and third funnels. The stern crashed back into the water, almost level.

I thought it was over, a stupid thought really. Now that I think back on it. The bow was gone beneath the waters. Never to be seen again. She pulled the stern with her.

The stern quickly rose into the sky again. Only seconds later was she standing at a vertical angle. Bobbing there in the Atlantic. The screams were unnerving. 

We continued to row. "Faster, boys, faster!" The seaman yelled. 

I knew the ship was sinking faster than ever now. She flooded quickly. The bobbing cork stern, sank straight down. 

Water pressure burst through ventilators and shafts. Causing ocean water to shoot up towards the stars. Only a matter of minutes later, was Titanic gone from us forever. Lost beneath the sea. 

Instinctively, I wrapped a comforting arm around Melissa. The suction of the great ocean liner pulled up back a bit. But not nearly as bad as it would have, had we been closer. 

We kept rowing further away. "Shouldn't we go back to help?" A woman said. I turned to her. Part of me saying "Yes, please. We have to help." Then the old filthy rich Caledon Hockley part of me was saying. "Are you mad? They'll kill us all." 

Again I was torn between worlds. I could never leave my riches, I knew that. But this voyage had left me with a feeling of respect towards lower class people.

I looked at Melissa. I forced a smile. What would happen to her now? I asked myself. I decided I would keep her. Take her as my own. Not only would it look good on me. I would be keeping a part of Catherine with me. Of course I would anyway. 

I reached into my pocket. Pulling out the damp piece of paper. I gently unfolded it. Careful not to rip it. The words were faded quite a bit now. But I alone knew exactly what they said. 

I reread the poem to myself. Thinking back to that afternoon down in third-class. I had forgotten my money. Forgotten my arranged marriage. Forgotten everything superficial. And let love in. Not the artificial kind, as it was with Rose. But the true love. Catherine. She cared, not for my money, but for me. 

'I may never again see the light of day.' I mouthed the words as I read them. Had she known? What had happened? I looked to Melissa again. She had fallen asleep, leaning over on me. Exhausted clearly. The tears stained her face. 

I looked back to the water polluted with bodies, some kicking and screaming for help. Others floating lifeless on the surface.

"I love you, Catherine." I spoke aloud. Not realizing I had even said a word. 

I felt a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I looked over to see a woman. Dressed poorly. As most the women and children on this boat were. 

"I know you." She said softly. I could tell she was so very cold. As we all were. I stared at her hard. 

"You're Mr. Hockley." She finished. 

I nodded. Not knowing what to say or do. 

"I knew Catherine. We shared a cabin." She smiled wearily. Then she looked at Melissa. 

I knew if she knew Catherine, she had to know Melissa wasn't in any way connected to me. Of course everyone surely knew that. From our clothes. 

"Catherine spoke very highly of you, and your friends." She spoke again. 

I wish I could reply the same comment. But I had never spoken highly of Catherine or her friends. In fact I had never spoken of them to anyone. 

I sat silent. Not knowing anything to say to her. I looked back to Melissa. Then back to the woman. "Could you take care of her for me?" I motioned to the slumbering child.

The woman smiled warmly. Then nodded. The faded scarf draped around her head, made her look like a saint in the dim starlight.

I think I must have been lost in a dream-like state. Because the next thing I realized was the Carpathia. I knew one of the lifeboats had went back. I wondered how many were saved from the water. 

I left Melissa with the woman. Not even saying goodbye. I was ushered into the first class dining area of the Carpathia. 

"Mr. Hockley!" I heard a frantic voice. It was Ruth. 

"Ruth." I said, sadly. 

"Where is Rose. Isn't she with you? My God, where is she?" Ruth's words ran together. 

"I'm sorry. She didn't come with me." I rubbed her shoulders, trying my best to comfort her. 

"What? Why didn't you being her with you?" Tears streamed down her face. 

"Sorry, ma'am. But she was with him and wouldn't leave his side." I said. Cringing a bit when I thought about Jack Dawson. He had ruined everything. 

Ruth broke down, crying hysterically. Molly wrapped a loving arm around her. "There, there, darlin'. It'll be alright." She turned to me. "Cal, why don't you go look for Rose. She may have found her way to a lifeboat." 

I nodded. I passed Madeline Astor. Her hand on her stomach, as she sat in a gilded chair. She stared forward, not at anything in particular. In mourning, for J.J. I knew instantly. Her baby would be born without knowing it's father. What a great man he was. 

I also passed Madam Aubert. She hid her grief for Mr. Guggenheim well. But I could see the overwhelming sadness in her eyes. 

Then, I saw him. Bruce Ismay. I glared at him, as I stalked across the room to stand before him. 

"Mr. Ismay." I greeted. 

He wearily turned his head to me. I could see the sadness and confusion in his face. But it didn't excuse the fact. That he, himself, had ordered the Captain use more speed. 

"Mr. Hockley." He addressed without any rhythm in his voice. Just the deep monotone of a damned soul. 

I wanted to curse him, wanted to yell at him for his actions. But I restrained myself. I left him sitting there in his own state of depression.

I searched the faces for Mr. Lovejoy. Deep in my mind I knew I would never see my valet, and friend again. 

So many souls lost. It was enough to change any man. And so it had changed me as well. 

I walked through the gates, going to the deck. To steerage. A steward for the Carpathia approached me, when he noticed my tuxedo. 

"You'll not find any of your people down here, sir. It's all steerage." He said. 

I waved him away. I walked down the few steps. Surveying all the stricken faces. I walked over to the starboard railing. Looking down at the water of the North Atlantic. It sprayed out beneath the Carpathia's keel. 

Never again would I look at these waters the same again. The ocean graveyard. Which is how it would remain in my mind for the rest of my life. 

I looked around at all the widowed women. Searching for my Rose. I spotted a suspicious looking woman. Wrapped in a dingy looking blanket. I approached her. 

"Cal!" A child's voice from behind me. I turned the opposite direction of the woman. 

Melissa stood staring up at me. A huge smile on her face. As though nothing had happened the night before. 

I instinctively knelt down on my knee. Taking her in a caring embrace. Again this gesture was completely not like me. And part of the new Caledon Hockley. 

"I'm sorry about your, mother. But you have got to be strong." I said reassuringly. She looked at me in confusion. Then a shadow fell over us. I looked up to see the most beautiful, wonderful thing in my life.

The same golden blond hair, the captivating blue eyes. My Catherine. Alive and well. Before me now. 

"You didn't think I'd leave you alone that easily, did you?" She laughed. 

I stepped up to her. "I'm so sorry." I started. I had to tell her. I wanted to hug her, kiss her. Things which I would have never done in the past. I was so amazingly overjoyed that she was alive. 

I opened my mouth to speak again, but was interrupted. 

"Cal, come on back up. I don't think she's down there." 

I looked past Catherine, to see Molly Brown, Madeline Astor, Colonel Gracie, and Ruth Dewitt Bukater standing at the stairway leading to first class. My people. My world. They were calling me back.

I stared into Catherine's eyes again. Not knowing what to do. My pride so overwhelming, I had to get back to my people. This wasn't my world. 

"Go, Cal." She spoke softly. Sadness in her eyes and voice.

I stared at her a moment longer. Then I looked to Melissa. Who so clearly didn't know what was going on. 

"Mr. Hockley!" Ruth shouted down to me.

"Come on, Cal. Join me in a brandy." Gracie called down. 

I sighed, nodding my head. I motioned for them to give me a moment. 

"I love you, Cal." She spoke softly. 

I nodded to her. I couldn't bring myself to say it back. I patted Melissa on the head. And walked away from them both. Rejoining my group in the first-class dining area. 

We were served fine champagne in crystal glasses. Not nearly as proper as the Titanic had been. But I don't think anyone could bring themselves to think about that doomed ocean liner now. 

"Who were you speaking to, Mr. Hockley?" Ruth asked, sipping on her champagne.

"Someone that knew that Mr. Dawson." I lied. 

She nodded sadly. Remembering her lost daughter. 

I sat back in my chair thinking over everything. My mind once again swamped by everything. And still I felt utterly lost. 


	10. New Memories Made

****

~*Ten*~

New Memories Made

We sat there a long while. Talking about the problems with White Star Line and the lawsuits they would face. My mind wasn't really on the topic. I stared at Mr. Ismay. Who sat alone and in shock across the room from us. 

"Name, sir?" A steward from the Carpathia stood at our table. Clipboard in hand. 

"Caledon Hockley." I replied. Almost sadly. Then I looked up at him. "Tell me, do you know if Rose Dewitt Bukater is here?" 

Ruth looked at me then up to the man. Hope and desperation filled her eyes. He flipped through the pages. 

"Well she hasn't been recorded yet." He said glumly. "But not to worry, sir. Not everyone is accounted for yet." 

I nodded. And sat back in my chair, brandy in hand. I watched him as he took the names of everyone at our table. I couldn't hear him speak, or them answer. It was as though my whole world spun in slow motion. 

Two days past, without my knowledge. Carpathia pulled into New York. I stood with Ruth as the Statue of Liberty, came into view. standing in all her beauty and grace. I had seen Lady Liberty on several occasions. But this was one time I knew it would be with Rose. And now she was gone.

Again I was filled with anger. A deep hatred for Jack Dawson. I know Ruth felt the same way, though she never admitted it.

Ruth and I parted ways in New York. I never saw her again. Nor did I see Molly Brown. Immediately after leaving Ruth in New York. I went to my father in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. I had received a telegram from him, the moment I had arrived back in America. 

The train ride was long and exhausting. I hadn't slept well since probably the first night aboard Titanic. After that my nights were swarmed with visions of Catherine, hopes for my future marriage, then the tragedy of April 14th. The Carpathia was nice of course. Very elegant and fine. Not so much as Titanic however. But I couldn't find sleep there either. 

I arrived at my father's house on April 20 of 1912. He waited for me on the lawn, as my taxi pulled up. As I paid the man for bringing me here promptly. My mind went back to Spicer Lovejoy. We hadn't been the best of friends, of course. But I missed him, nevertheless. He had been hired by my father. 

I knew he would ask me about the diamond. As I approached him I thought of all I could say to him. 

"Caledon." He greeted, and huge smile stretched across his older gentleman's face. He opened his arms and took me in a fatherly embrace. 

"Hello, Father." I greeted forcing a smile. 

"I want to hear all about it, son. But come. Let's go in for some brandy." He offered. Leading the way up to his house.

His house was rich in décor of course. Golden detail, expensive velvet furniture. Magnificent of course. Nothing less than that which was for royalty. Nathan Hockley, my father, was always one to splurge on the unneeded. So was I, really.

I sat there silently, politely sipping the brandy. I sighed, sitting the glass back on the white coaster. I stared into his eyes. 

"Whenever you're ready, Caledon. I want to know everything." He spoke softly. "Tell me what happened with Rose?" 

I sat there thinking about this for a long moment. Here I was a thirty year old man, not married, and now I wouldn't be for quite a while. Of course I could find a woman who wanted my money. But I didn't want that. Deep in my heart I knew what I wanted. Yet, I couldn't have it.

"Rose, fell in love." I said with a shrug. It was that moment, sitting there at that glass table with my father. That I realized. I didn't blame Rose. She had fallen in love with Jack. It wasn't my love for her that angered me. It was my pride. I couldn't allow myself to be embarrassed by her leaving me for a steerage passenger.

"Did she make it?" He asked dismally.

I slowly shook my head, saying no. He nodded sadly. I was tired of this melancholy atmosphere. It was almost a week ago, I thought it was time to get back to life. No matter how hard that was going to be. 

"What about Ruth?" He asked. 

I nodded. "Yes. She's still in New York I should imagine." 

"I see." He said. "Why didn't you bring Rose with you? When you got off the ship." He demanded finally. 

I was surprised he would ask such a thing. "I told you she fell in love!" I almost shouted. 

"With whom? Who is he? I'll take care of him. I'll destroy his business." He said sternly. Showing the business side of himself even more so now.

I laughed out loud. "That may be a bit difficult on two levels." 

"And what might that be?" He was clearly angry. 

"One: The man is dead. And Two: He was steerage! Poor! He had no business!" I laughed again. I didn't care what he thought. 

"Steerage? You let her get away with a wretched third-class man." He leaned forward. "Caledon. You won't get your money without a wife. You know that. You've just messed up your entire life. Because you let Rose Dewitt Bukater die on the Titanic."

He stood and left the room in a huff. He didn't even care that I, his only son, had almost died. All he cared about was my having a family for the Hockley name to travel through. Again there was this part of me that knew he was right. 

The next day, I told him I would marry soon. Just for the sake of the money. So he set out to find my bride. A woman of well-breeding of course. Often our conversations went back to Rose. 

In August of 1912 my new engagement was on course. I was to marry Erin Parker. Daughter of Michael Parker. Whom was also on the Titanic. The one Melissa had stolen from his son. 

She was beautiful, everything a well brought up woman should be. She was everything Rose had been. She lacked one thing, and that was a love for me and not my money. 

Our wedding wouldn't be until the winter. I was thankful for that. I wasn't prepared for this union. As I was with Rose. Like I've said I grew to love Rose. Even if it was only for financial gain. I loved her just the same. 

But Erin, Erin I did not love. Rose had a certain attitude, that I so loved. Erin was missing it all together. She did what she was told, when she was told. Rose never listened to rules. At the time she broke all the rules, I thought it so incredibly rude. Now I see, it was what I missed the most about her. 

Late one evening in August. I sat with my father again. He was ever so happy about the upcoming marriage. But he still longed for the stories of Titanic. 

"So, how was it? I mean the grandeur the splendor?" He asked. We sat at the dinner table, just us two. One of his personal maids brought in the crystal wine glasses and set them before us. 

"It was marvelous of course. The Ship of Dreams." I said. My mind trailing back to the ship, that now rested at the bottom of the Atlantic. 

"The service? How was that?" He asked. 

"Wonderful." I smiled. 

He nodded, smiling as well. He had wanted to take a voyage on her the next time she crossed the North Atlantic. Now he'd never have the chance. Of course there would be other great ships, we both knew that. 

"Where is the diamond?" He asked the question I knew was coming. 

I sighed in defeat and finally answered him. "She had it. When she died with the Titanic." 

He stared at me sternly. "Well have you filed the insurance claim yet?" He asked. I was surprised it had taken him four months to think of this.

"Yes, I did." I replied. 

He nodded, then continued the conversation. "How ever did you manage to survive?" He asked the question I knew would come up. "You were in Collapsible A, am I correct? One of the last to leave?" 

I nodded. Trying to think of words to answer with. How could I tell him I had used a child to get aboard. Then I realized the man I was speaking with. So I told him the truth.

"There was a child. A little third-class girl." I started. Neglecting to tell him about Melissa and her mother. "I grabbed her up, and they let me on. Women and children were the only ones allowed on. I figured it was my only way of surviving."

He sat back then chuckled a bit. "That's good." He laughed again. "Hey at least she was safe too. I mean it's not like I did some cruel, dark, deed." I spat back at him. 

He nodded, though I could tell he wasn't serious. 

"Where did the little girl go? Where was her family." He asked. 

I shrugged my shoulders. Not wanting to tell him anything more. 

"Well anyway. About this man, that Rose fell in love with. What was his name?" He asked. 

"Jack Dawson." I looked at him. I could speak this name without cringing now. 

He laughed again. "So proper. Wonder if he was from the Boston Dawsons, and was exiled?" 

I looked at him. "No, he was from the Chippewa Falls Dawsons, actually." I started laughing again. As I quoted Mr. Dawson himself. He had said that to J.J. Astor. 

"What's so funny?" He asked. 

I waved a hand, trying to calm myself. "It's nothing. It's just I've hated this man for no reason." 

"No reason?" He demanded sternly. "That trash stole Rose from you." 

"No. He stole my pride, not Rose!" I shouted back.

"How could she go to a common rat, and give up the chance for unlimited money?" He asked disgustedly. "And don't say love. Love has nothing to do with anything in our business, Caledon." 

I sat back in my chair. Not touching my dinner. Not looking at him. I thought of Catherine. I still loved her even after all these months of being away from her. I started laughing again.

"It has everything to do with it, father. Love is a part of life. My life." I stood and started to leave. 

"Where are you going?!" He raced after me. Following me to the porch. 

"Something I should have done a long time ago!" I shouted back. "Tell the Parkers I'm calling the whole thing off!" 

I could hear his gasp. His disappointment. But I ran anyway. I ran down the street. My dinner jacket flailing out behind me. I hailed a taxi when I reached the corner. 

"Where do, Sir?" He asked. 

"To the train station. As quick as you can." I ordered.

He pulled out, driving fairly fast. "Wait! Stop at the jewelers on 1st, my good man." I said. Smiling. 

He nodded and turned down the street heading for town. 

"Say aren't you that Mr. Hockley fellow?" He asked. Glancing to me in the back seat.

I nodded. "Why yes I am, sir." 

"Whoo-wee, how'd you manage to get off that ship?" 

I hated his improper use of language. But nothing could ruin my insanely delighted mood. 

"Sheer luck." I said.

"A real man makes his own luck. That's the way I see it." He laughed a bit. 

My mind flashed back to the dining saloon. I had said that to Jack. 

"Don't believe that for a second my friend. All life is a game of luck." I was shocked at my own words. How had I changed so much? Had anyone else noticed the changes in me? 

We pulled up in front of the jeweler. I had bought Rose's engagement ring here. Frank, the jeweler came walking out into the display room. He was polishing a large green stone on an elegant necklace. 

"Hello, Mr. Hockley. What can I do for you today?" He asked cheerfully. As though he could literally smell my money. 

"I need a ring." I said placing my hands on the glass counter top.

"Well you've come to the right place." He chuckled. "What are you looking for?" 

"Engagement." I said with a slight smile.

He lifted his eyebrows in an arch of confusion. "You already bought the engagement ring for Miss. Erin." 

"I know that. I'm not a fool. I need another one. My engagement to Miss. Parker is off." I said a bit irritated by his questioning me.

"I'm sorry." He said. He pulled out a case of beautiful rings. He displayed them before me.

I stared down at the dozens of jewels. All different shapes and sizes. 

I spotted one, a blue stone as the center piece.

"What is this?" I asked looking up at him. 

"A rare type of diamond." He replied.

I stared down at it, as my mind raced back to the night in Rose's room. When I had given her the Heart of the Ocean.

"I'll take it." I said. I didn't care about the price of course. It was a breathtaking thing, really.

"What size will you be needing it in, Mr. Hockley?" He asked, taking the ring from the case. 

I had no idea about ladies ring sizes. But I knew she must be about the same size as Rose had been. 

"What size did Rose wear?" I asked. 

"Seven." He said. 

I nodded. "Okay, that should be fine." 

He left the display room, disappearing into his stock rooms. He reemerged carrying a black ring box in his hand. He sat it on the counter in front of me. 

"Seven-thousand dollars, sir." He said. Looking a bit shocked that I could buy yet another engagement ring. After such a short amount of time. Well, my fortunes were not nearly diminished. I paid him then left. I got into the taxi. We went to the train station.

"Have a good trip, Mr. Hockley." The driver said. 

I paid him over the actual amount. But I was sure he could use the extra money. I got on the first train to New York, thoroughly surprised to see Colonel Gracie in the first-class section of the train, sipping brandy. 

"Cal." He said motioning to me. 

I walked down the isle and seated myself beside him. 

"Archie." I said, smiling. "Good to see you again." 

"How have you been, Cal?" He asked. 

We hadn't spoken since the Titanic's demise. But I was grateful to have an old friend with me on the trip to New York. 

"I'm great. And how are you, sir?" I asked. 

"Magnificent. Heading into New York. A little vacation, you might say." He laughed a bit. 

I nodded. "So am I." 

I still couldn't tell anyone about Catherine. Simply because of her class. I secretly wondered what the last four months had been like for her. Where she had been. What she had been doing. 

"Refreshment, sir?" A steward asked. I picked up a class of champagne from the tray. 

The colonel and I talked for hours. Discussing the Titanic. The unwanted voyage on the Carpathia. Mr. Andrews and Bruce Ismay. We discussed everything. Even Rose. But she seemed to be everywhere I went. 

"It was that Jack boy, eh?" He asked. 

I nodded.

"Well not to worry, son. He was a nice lad." He said. Of course I knew he was right.

"Neither of them made it, though." I spoke sadly. 

He nodded. "That seems to be the tone in many a family. Especially Mrs. Astor." 

I looked to him. "How is Madeline?" 

"Fine, I should think." He replied.

"The baby?" I asked. 

"Oh little John Jacob. Oh yes perfectly fine, sir." He laughed.

I nodded, leaning back against the soft cushion. 

The colonel drank down his last bit of brandy as we pulled into the station. 

"It was good to see you again, Cal." He held his hand out to me. 

I shook his hand. "And you, Archie." 

He left in the opposite direction as I did. I looked around at all the people. Some in fine clothes others in rags. Why was it on the streets people didn't pay much attention to class but on that damned ship they had. Which probably ruined everything.

I walked into an alleyway, which had several underclass people scattering about.

"Excuse me." I stopped a woman, wearing lesser-value clothes and a scarf. "Do you know a Catherine de Louisse?" 

She shook her head. Her eyes trailed down my black dinner suit. Then back up to my eyes. "Are you sure you're in the right part of town, sonny?" 

I made no reply, I just continued racing through the crowded alley. Looking at each face. 

I kept my hand inside my pocket, on the ring box the entire time. Afraid low-life pickpockets would rob me. It was one of those times I wished Lovejoy was still with me. 

"Mr. Hockley?" I heard a questioning voice from behind me. I turned to face a woman seated on a crate, smoking a cigarette. 

"Do I know you?" I asked walking up to her. 

"We met in the lifeboat." She said. Trying to remind me of her identity. Then I placed her face. She was the woman who had offered to take Melissa. "What brings you to the slums?" She asked with a slight laugh. 

I glared at her a moment. How dare she judge me. If I wanted to walk in the back streets that was my business. I thought to myself.

"I'm just messing with you, kid." She said. "But seriously what brings you here." 

I didn't answer. I didn't know how to. I wasn't even sure why I was doing this. Acting so unlike me. 

"Is it Catherine and Melissa?" She asked suddenly. Throwing her cigarette to the ground, and stomping it out. 

"Do you know where I can find them?" I asked.

"Well I can give you one hint as to where one of 'em are." 

I waited for her to answer. Then she pointed behind me. I turned to see the little girl, Melissa.

"Cal? Is that you?" 

I knelt down, Careful not to touch my pant leg to the ground. 

"Melissa?" I asked. She raced over to me. Wrapping her arms around my neck. I stood, with Melissa in my arms. I turned back to the woman. 

"Catherine is at her little dress shop. Melissa can show you. By the way, I'm Carol." 

I nodded and thanked her. I released Melissa from my arms, and she skipped through the people. Leading me to my love, Catherine. 

When we arrived at the store I leaned down and spoke softly in Melissa's ear. "Get your mother, bring her out here. Tell her I'm a customer or something. Do not tell her it's me. Okay? Can you do that for me?" 

She smiled and nodded. The little bell on the door rang as she yanked it open. I walked over to the bench, sitting with my back to the door. My heart raced as I heard her footsteps behind me. I knew she couldn't deny me. But I still had the racing heart. 

"Can I help you, sir?" She asked. "If you step into the store, I can probably help you out with what you want to purchase." 

I didn't look up to her. She still stood behind me. And hadn't seen my face yet. I slowly pulled out little ring box.

I held it out behind me, until I felt her soft hands brush mine. She took the box. And opened it.

She gasped out. I turned to face her. She looked at me, then back to the rather large ring. Her hand clasped to her mouth. 

"Cal, I-" She started to speak. 

I stood, facing her now. "Catherine. I never should have left you there on the Carpathia. I was just so distraught about Rose and my pride. My stature in life. I neglected my true feelings. But I've had four months to think about them. I love you," I took a deep breath. "Will you marry me?" 

She gasped again. Melissa stood in the doorway of the shop, staring on, almost in amazement. 

She opened her mouth to answer. I held a finger to her lips. "Listen, I love you. I know you feel the same way. But there are certain things I have to ask of you." 

"Anything." She said. Still staring down at the jewel.

I nodded. "Let's go inside." 

I followed her into the shop. She turned the little closed sign over so no one would come in. Melissa sat on a small sofa, playing with a rag doll. 

"This isn't going to be easy for you, I know." I started. "But, you have to let me shower you in finery. You have to become a part of my world."

She looked a bit shocked. Then her eyes settled on the playing Melissa. She looked back to me. 

"Melissa too. I've got everything figured out. Leave the minor details to me." I said. Pleading with my eyes. "Please, Catherine. I want to be married to you, to be with you for the rest of my life. If you do not, I'll be forced into a marriage that is doomed. I want to be happy. I know you do too. I can give us that happiness, Catherine." 

She looked back down to the ring. When she looked at me, tears flooded her eyes.

"Will you?" I asked. 

After several agonizing moments, she nodded her head. Smiling. I took the ring from the velvet case, and placed it on her finger. I kissed her deeply on the lips. The first kiss we had shared since that fateful night on Titanic. 

Melissa raced over to us. I picked her up, and we shared the first family hug. 

"Ok, now go put on something you would be selling. Something fine." I said. "You and Melissa." 

"But, we can't these dresses are made to sell." Catherine said. 

I placed my hands on her shoulder. "Catherine, you have to leave the shop. You can't work here." 

She looked deeply saddened. But went along with me. 

"I'll go send a telegram to my father. Telling him. Remember, you're Catherine de Louisse of France. Your late husband was a wealthy gold miner. He was killed in a mine. Okay?" I waited for her to answer. "Do you understand?" I asked. 

Finally she nodded. 

"And don't speak of Titanic to them. To me, it's fine. I have a lot of questions anyway. But never mention it to your new friends." 

I knew all of what I was saying to her, was overwhelming. But there was no doubt in my mind, that she would grow to be happy with her new life. 

I left them to go to the post office. To get the word out to my father. Who was surely distraught about my leaving so abruptly. 

After I got the message sent to my father, I immediately went back to the dress shop. Stopping only long enough to buy a finely sewn doll for the child. When I arrived back at the shop, Melissa came running from the back. 

"Hey slow down." I laughed. I knelt down to her. 

"Look I'm dressed as nice as you." She giggled. "I never thought mommy would let me wear these clothes." She was obviously happy. 

I smiled. "Listen, you can't come bounding out of places. Okay? You have to act like a young lady. Do you know how to do that?" 

She looked a bit saddened then, the sparkle to her eyes returned. "Yes, I saw the first-class children on the Titanic, Sir." She answered in her new attitude. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her. Thankful she was adapting quickly.

Catherine cleared her throat politely. I looked up, and stood as if in a trance. She was absolutely stunning. Her hair neatly pulled back. Long white gloves, sequined blue taffeta gown, matching shoes. I slowly walked over to her. She held her hand out. I leaned down to kiss her knuckles. 

"Well, how do I look, Mr. Hockley?" She asked in the same attitude that Melissa had just displayed. 

"Perfect." I smiled. I crooked my elbow, and waited for her to loop her arm through mine. 

"Come along, Melissa." I said heading for the door.

Catherine stopped. "Where are we going? What about our stuff?"

"Pittsburgh. And I'll buy you new stuff." I laughed. 

Catherine laughed as well. Melissa held onto her rag doll. I bent down and pulled the finely sewn doll from my suit pocket. 

"For you." I said softly. 

Her smile could never be surpassed. She left the rag doll laying on the sofa, as she hugged the new doll close to her chest. 

We walked out of that little dress shop, closing the doors for the last time. 

We walked through the crowded streets of New York arm in arm. Heading for the train station. 

"Cal!" I heard a familiar voice. Colonel Archibald Gracie speed walked up to us. I had hoped they wouldn't have to meet any of my people just yet.

"It's the colonel." I whispered to Catherine. She nodded. 

"Hello, leaving New York so soon, eh?" He asked. 

"Yes, well my father is a demanding man. I must get back to him." I said. "But may I present Catherine de Louisse and her daughter Melissa de Louisse of France." I motioned to the ladies at my side. 

"Oh lovely." The Colonel took her hand in his and kissed the back of her hand. "Nice to meet you, Catherine."

Melissa stared up at him. I gave her a pleading look to go along with us. She quickly corrected her posture. 

"And young Melissa. It is a pleasure." Gracie said, looking down at the child. 

"Catherine is my fiancé, widow of the late Richard de Louisse. You know of Paris. The miner." I lied. 

He nodded. "Of course." 

Naturally he went along with me. Even though he had never heard of the family, he didn't want to seem as though he was out of the swing of things. 

"Well Archie, it's been a pleasure. But we have a train to catch."

"Of course, Cal. See you later." He said with a slight bow. He walked the other direction. 

Catherine turned to see if he was gone. Then she leaned in close to me. "Did we do okay?" She asked with concern in her eyes. 

"You did amazing. But remember don't look concerned. Relax. Feel confident. Everything will be fine." I instructed. Melissa listened as she followed holding her mother's free hand. 

"It's all so difficult, Cal." She spoke softly.

"I know." I laughed a little. "You'll get used to it." 


	11. Discoveries and a New Life

****

~*Eleven*~

Discoveries and a New Life

We arrived back in Pittsburgh half a day later. Melissa and Catherine had kept up the act amazingly. But truly it wasn't an act now. This was their life. They were a part of my life, my world now.

When the taxi pulled in front of the house. Catherine reached for the door handle to the backseat. 

I jerked my attention and glared at her. She looked at me confused a moment. Then the driver opened the door. She looked back at me. I smiled. I took Melissa by the hand, Catherine on my arm. I paid the man, then we were off to meet my father. I knew I would be lectured for this. But that didn't concern me then, and it doesn't now as I write this to you. 

"This is my father, Nathan Hockley." I whispered to Catherine. "This is your home now." 

She looked at me, almost scared. She spotted my father, wearing a gray evening suit and tie, standing on the porch. We slowly and politely made our way up the walk to him. 

"Father, this is Catherine and Melissa de Louisse." I introduced. He looked from me to Catherine. Suspicion in his eyes. 

"Mr. Hockley. It is a pleasure." She spoke with the utmost etiquette. 

"The pleasure is mine." He bowed a little out of respect. 

I looked at Catherine. I could see the nervousness, the concern in her eyes. She was not accustomed to these surroundings, I knew. But that was something I planned to teach her. 

"Catherine. Why don't you take Melissa in, and look around. Have Clare put some tea on." I said. Hoping she would know I meant the head maid. 

She nodded. And politely took leave of us. Walking into the grand house, with an uneasy step. 

"So, Caledon. Do you mind telling me what this is all about?" He asked firmly. 

I looked at him, almost angry. That I, a grown man, would have to discuss my whereabouts all the time. 

"Well, Father. You see, Catherine and I met in Southampton before boarding the Titanic." I started.

"So she survived the Titanic also?" He asked. 

"No." I blurted back absently. "I mean. She wasn't on the ship. No." 

He nodded, still suspicious. 

"And the little girl? Is that her daughter?" 

I nodded. "Yes, Catherine is the widow of a wealthy miner in France." 

I secretly prayed that he wouldn't realize my lie. Surely he would know de Louisse was not a famous or well known name. But he didn't question her name any further.

"So why is she here? And what of, Erin? Her father is very angry." He said angrily. 

"I don't care about the Parkers." I spat back. "Catherine and I are getting married. She needs a husband, and I need a wife, as you've said before, sir."

"Well it is true. But I don't want to see you rushing into a marriage that will have no benefits. I'd like to know more about this late husband of her's." He said. 

I think my jaw probably dropped. I had no idea what to say or do. She had no money. And if my father truly wanted to find out her background he could.

"Believe me, I think like you, sir." I said. "I've thoroughly checked it out. It's a great match if I do say so myself." 

Finally he nodded. "Come, let's not keep the young ladies waiting." 

I followed behind him into the sitting room.

Catherine stared at a painting by Monet on the wall. Melissa sat politely in a velvet backed chair.

I walked up behind her putting a hand on her shoulder. "Sweetheart, Won't you come for some tea?" 

She nodded, and I led her into the dining area of my home. I lived with my father again. In this elegant, and over-the-top house. A mansion really. 

I pulled her chair out, as she seated herself. Then helped Melissa up into her seat as well. Her little legs barely reached the floor. 

"Clare, I would like some brandy." My father said. 

The maid went into the kitchen and reemerged with my father's drink. Also on her tray. Were our china cups full of tea. 

Catherine was obviously surprised by the fine china. I gave her a pleading look to act as though nothing was different. Melissa was probably handling it better than she was anyway. I guess a child is just easier to teach.

"Tell me, Caledon, when do you plan to have the marriage ceremony?" My father asked. 

"September 20th, Sir." I replied. It was nearly a month away. "But, Catherine and her daughter will be moving their things in here right away." 

"Ah, very good, son." He chuckled a bit. "And what a fine young lady to carry the Hockley name into a new generation with." 

Catherine blushed a bit. "Well, thank you, sir." 

I laughed. "No need to be modest, dear." 

She smiled and sipped her tea.

"So Caledon tells me you were in Belfast in April. When did you come back to America?" He asked taking a drink of brandy. 

I looked to her, waiting for her answer. Which so clearly confused her. She thought quickly. And answered. 

"I'm from Paris, Mr. Hockley. This is my first visit here since Richard passed on." 

Her response was satisfactory to him. He neglected asking her any more about the voyage here. I knew she definitely couldn't speak of Titanic. She would be on the survivor lists. But under third class. That would have completely ruined my reputation. I had no intentions of letting that happen.

"Well if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting in town." He said, politely standing and leaving the table. 

Malcolm, his personal valet, followed him out the door. Clare brought out milk and cookies for Melissa. 

"Mommy, isn't this great?" Melissa said chewing on a cookie, politely. 

"Mm-hmm, now chew with your mouth closed." Catherine laughed. Then turned to me. She mouthed the words 'thank you'. I smiled and squeezed her hand reassuringly. 

They were doing a lot better than I had planned on. How can two people leave steerage, and come into this world of splendor? It was beyond me. 

"Your house, is wonderful, Cal. Truly it is." She smiled. 

"You haven't seen the rest of the house." I laughed. Bragging a bit. 

We sat there a few moments longer. When the parlor phone rang. 

"Mr. Hockley, it's for you." The maid called out. 

"Excuse me." I said to Catherine. 

She nodded. "Of course." 

I walked to where Clare held the phone. "Yes?" I asked in the receiver. 

"Ruth! Hello, how are you?" I asked the moment I heard her voice. 

"Mr. Hockley, I know this sounds absurd. But I am starting my own elegant clothing line. I was wondering if my company could take out a loan with you?" Rose's mother asked. 

"Why not ask a bank, Mrs. Dewitt Bukater?" I asked. 

"Well, you see, this is really silly. But, the banks claim my husband had unpaid debts. I know it isn't true. And my lawyer is looking into it." She stated. 

"Alright, Ruth. I'll discuss it with my father. He's away on business right now." 

"Thank you, Mr. Hockley." She said before hanging up. 

I knew she was broke. I had known that for months now. But I always acted as though I didn't. 

When I walked back into the dining area. Melissa was begging her mother for something. 

"Shh. Okay not another word about it." Catherine warned. 

"What's wrong?" I asked. 

Melissa looked up at me. Finally Catherine did too. "It's nothing, Cal." 

"No, what is it?" I asked. Trying to sound compassionate, though I was thoroughly confused. 

"I want a puppy!" Melissa exclaimed. 

I laughed out. Not meaning to. "Is that all? You were that serious about a puppy?" I asked looking at Catherine. 

"Well, it's just you've been so kind to us already. I didn't think we should bother you with trifle things." Catherine said.

I leaned down by Melissa. "You want a dog, do you?" 

She nodded slowly. As though she didn't know how to answer, or was afraid to answer. 

"Douglas!" I called out. 

The butler appeared in the doorway. "Yes, Mr. Hockley?" 

"Are you doing anything right now?" I asked. 

"I'm filling in for Thomas today, Sir." He answered. 

"Well, forget about whatever it is you do. I want you to take young Melissa here into town." I ordered. 

"Yes, Sir. Where are we going, sir?"

"The kennel." I turned to Melissa. "Do you know what kind of dog you want?" 

She shook her head. "Just as long as he's cute." 

"Cal, you don't have to do this." Catherine spoke softly. 

I waved a hand dismissively. I led Melissa over to the butler. 

"Douglas this is Melissa. Melissa this is Douglas." I looked at Melissa. "See now you aren't strangers." I knew she wouldn't speak with strangers. 

I handed my butler a roll of bills. I looked at him sternly. "I trust she'll find the dog she wants."

"Yes, sir. Of course, sir." He took Melissa's hand. "Come on, dear." 

"Thank you, Cal." Melissa said before Douglas gently closed the door behind them. 

Catherine walked over to me. "You really shouldn't have done that. You'll spoil her." 

"That's the idea." I laughed. "Come I have to show you your room." 

She took my arm as I led her up the steps. "This is my father's room." I pointed to the room at the end of the long corridor. "This will be Melissa's room." We stopped to look inside. 

It was the smallest of the bedrooms, but completely filled with décor. The canopy bed sat in the corner, pink lace hung from the four posts. Flower designed wallpaper covered the walls.

"Wow, it's amazing, Cal." She said. 

"I know." I smiled. Taking her by the arm again. "This is my room." I pointed to the black and gold polished door across the hall. 

She nodded. "Well that may some in handy. When I have a nervous breakdown." She laughed. So did I.

"And this, my dear," I said opening the door across from mine. "Is your room." 

She stepped past me into the room. Silk and velvet covered the bed. Her bed was also a canopy but bigger than the child's, of course. Plush white carpeting covered the entire floor. 

I had only been in this room on a couple occasions. But my father insisted every bedroom be kept up. And so our hired hands did so.

I walked in front of Catherine. Her hand clasped to her mouth. I placed my hands on her shoulders. She looked at the drapes then to the bed, then the rich furniture. 

"This is overwhelming." She said finally. "I don't know how I could ever get used to this." 

I led her to the divan in the corner. We sat together, her hands in mine. "You'll get used to it, Catherine. There's nothing in the world now that cannot be yours. Anything you want. I won't deny you anything."

"Cal, you've already been too kind." She said nervously. Fidgeting with the ring on her finger. 

Finally I decided to ask her about Titanic. Where she had been, everything I had been wondering about for four months. 

"Why did you leave Melissa, on Titanic?" I asked, looking into her eyes. 

"I didn't want to. I went to try to help someone." 

"Who?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter." She said. "There were just so many people I wanted to help. Some being, Tommy and Fabrizio, My friends, Another being the first-class pregnant woman's husband." 

"John Astor?" I asked. 

She shrugged. "Maybe. I don't really know. I saw him walk back in. I followed him to the first class area. I'm not sure what it was, there was a big dome in the ceiling." 

I nodded. "Go on." 

She appeared to almost have tears in her eyes. "I looked down and saw another gentleman sitting in a dinner jacket. While the water rose up around him. I called down to him but he didn't listen. Then that John Astor, he wouldn't come with me either. He only stared at me, as if to ask "Why are you here?" I was surprised anyone would care about my class now." 

"Well you don't know first-class very well." I said. "Remember I couldn't even stand to be with you in steerage." 

She nodded sadly. "Anyway, when I got back to the deck, I couldn't find Melissa. I prayed and prayed that she was alright. I couldn't find Fabri or Tommy anywhere. My heart ached. I wanted it to just be over."

"They didn't make it?" I asked. 

She shook her head, no. 

"Well what happened? How did you get on the Carpathia if the boats were all gone?" I asked. 

"Two of my friends, they led me to the stern. We stayed together. Staying on the ship as she sank beneath us." 

"My God." I whispered. I remembered how the stern had rose higher and higher. And the despair I had felt at that moment.

"I and one of the two friends, wore lifebelts. As the suction pulled us down, the belts helped keep us afloat." She took in a deep breath, fighting back tears.

I continued to listen carefully. "What happened?" Her story fascinated me, I had gotten off safely, with her child. While she nearly froze in the Atlantic.

"My friend found a piece of wood, that she could lay on. While my other friend and I stayed in the water. Every attempt either of us made to get on with her. Made the debris start to sink. So we had no choice but to stay in the icy water." She said sadly. "My body was dreadfully numb. I couldn't feel anything. I thought I would surely die. As the voices got quieter I grew weaker. But eventually the boats did return. She was the first to be saved from the water. Then I was brought aboard boat twelve. We huddled together, like two sisters lost from a mother. It wasn't until Carpathia did we come to realize the other friend had survived as well. She had thought he was dead. He must have been unconscious." 

I took her up in a loving embrace. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. Where are your friends now? I must thank them for staying with you." 

"That's not necessary." She whispered. 

"Why not?" I demanded. "Catherine. You and the other two were so brave. I couldn't have done that. I chickened out, I was selfish. I used Melissa to save my own skin. You three deserve such a great amount of respect."

"Believe me, Cal. It isn't necessary. They know they were brave. They know I thank them. You don't have to tell them."

She looked nervous suddenly. She pulled away from me slightly.

"Is there something you need to tell me, sweetheart?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"Catherine, don't lie to me." I demanded. My voice rising slowly. Then I realized something I had forgotten about until that moment there in Catherine's new room. "Where did you get the money to start your dress shop?" 

She looked at me, tears in her eyes. "I made dresses, of course." 

"How could you make them, with no money, dear?" I asked, trying to restrain my anger. I knew she was hiding something. 

She sighed, as if in defeat. "Cal, if I tell you this. I don't know how you will react. I've seen your temper." 

It hurt that she would think this way. But I went along with her. 

"I'll be even more angry if you do not tell me, now!" I demanded.

"Fine. Have it your way. Ruin everything." She spat back. "A friend gave it to me. I should say YOU gave it to me." 

She stared into my eyes, and I into hers. "What do you mean?" 

"The money in your coat, Cal. The one you put on Rose." She said, almost shouting. 

"Rose?" I asked. "Rose is alive? She was your friend?" 

Now I knew Rose had fallen for a steerage man, and also befriended a third-class woman. I was completely appalled. 

"She was the woman on the board then?" I asked. 

She slowly nodded.

"Who was the man?!" I demanded. 

She looked away from me. "Cal. I- Look, it's not important." 

"Who, Catherine?!" I asked again. "Who was the other friend?!" 

She took in a deep breath. "Jack Dawson. But Cal-" She started. 

I jumped to my feet. "Dawson is alive?!" I shouted. "Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I love you, Cal. I couldn't." She said. "She loves him, Cal. She even says her name is Rose Dawson. She is in no way connected to you. No one ever has to know that she left you. Just leave them alone. They've gone to live in his hometown. And they are happy. Let them get on with their lives. And you with yours." 

"So they are in Chippewa Falls, are they?" I asked, 

She looked a bit surprised that I would know. Finally she nodded. 

"Where's the diamond?" I demanded finally. I knew Rose had given her the money, she must have kept the diamond.

"I don't anything about a diamond." She answered. I could see in her eyes that she spoke the truth.

I turned to leave. 

"Where are you going? What are me and Melissa supposed to do?" She demanded.

"Stay here. I merely wish to pay a visit to Mr. Dawson." I said politely. 

I of course had no intentions of harming him. After all, where would that get me? Certainly not back with Rose. Everything had been ruined there. Even Ruth believed her daughter was dead. 

I knew I couldn't have her. But I'd be damned if I'd let Dawson have her. I loved Catherine. You have to understand that. Rose was a triumph, my property. Whom, Jack had intended on stealing. I couldn't let that happen. 

I turned to leave. Angry, betrayed, and feeling utterly lost again. 

"Wait, Cal." She spoke up. I turned back to her.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't go all the way to Wisconsin. They aren't there right now." She said staring off. 

I walked back over to her. "Where are they, then?" I asked. She wouldn't even look up at me. "Look at me, dear." I said through gritted teeth. 

Finally she did. "They'll be in Philadelphia tomorrow. They left Chippewa Falls to come visit me." She sighed. 

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner, dear?" I asked. Still thoroughly annoyed, of course.   
"Cal, they are happy. Why can't you just be happy?" She asked.

It hurt me deeply to hear her say these words to me. 

"Why can't you just be happy with me? Rose doesn't have anything more than I do, save the manners and good upbringing."

I sat back down beside her. "Nothing, okay? But I cannot let that beggar, poor excuse for a man defeat me." 

"Why is that so important to you?" Catherine countered. 

I didn't answer. I only stared at her.

"Forget your pride, Cal." She spoke softly.

"Excuse me." I said standing. I walked to the doorway, then turned back to her. "You'll go with me. Keep your date with them. Won't they be surprised when they see you." 

I motioned to her nice clothes and beautiful diamond ring. "We'll leave right after dinner." 

"What about Melissa?" She asked. 

"I'll hire someone to come stay with her." I said. "Now, if you'll excuse me." 

I closed the door behind me. Leaving her alone in that strange new room. I went across the hall to my room. I stood before the mirror. Running a comb through my hair.

Then I realized we would have to stay the night in Philadelphia. So I picked out a black suit and tie. Packing them ever so neatly in a suitcase. Then I went down the hall, to what had once been Rose's room. I went to her old wardrobe, taking out a red and black taffeta gown. And the matching high-heeled shoes. 

I brought them back to my room, and neatly placed them in the suitcase as well. Then, I heard the downstairs door open. My father speaking to Douglas. And a puppy barking softly. 

I walked across the hall. "Catherine, we have to go to dinner." 

A few moments later she opened the door. We walked down the stairs arm in arm. 

"Look at the puppy, mommy." Melissa held the dog up for her mother and I to see.

"Very cute, dear." Catherine answered.

"Come let's get some dinner, shall we?" My father spoke up. Melissa released the dog, and was then escorted to the kitchen to tidy up before going to the table.

Again my mind went back to Titanic when the chef brought out the lamb. Would I be haunted with visions of Titanic forever? I asked myself many times. I didn't know, then. 

"So what are you plans for tomorrow, son?" My father asked, as he cut his lamb with a sharp silver knife. 

"Catherine and I are going in to Philadelphia. She has some friends she'd like to visit." I looked at Catherine. 

"What about me?" Melissa spoke up. "Can I go?" 

"Well no, Melissa. You have to stay and care for your new puppy." I said, trying to sound compassionate. 

"Well, have fun Catherine. It's always good to keep in touch with friends." My father said looking at Catherine. She politely nodded.

After dinner and champagne. Douglas drove us to the train station. It wasn't a long wait before the train departed. We only had one suitcase so that wouldn't be a problem, I knew.

I rented us two rooms at the most luxurious hotel in downtown Philadelphia. The following morning we met in the hall. She was absolutely stunning wearing Rose's dress. Her hair was pulled back, pearls threaded through. 

I stood close to her, so she could hear my instructions. Several finely dressed men and women passed us. Bowing their heads from respect. I, of course, was used to this treatment. She was not. Yet, at least.

"Ok, so you'll go there. Don't mention me. Of course they are bound to ask about your attire and the ring. That's when I'll come. I have a few things to say to Mr. Dawson." I said to her. 

She nodded her head. Though she looked thoroughly against this. 

"How long have you known Mr. Dawson anyway?" I asked, as we walked out of the hotel, walking towards the park. Where she was to meet them. 

"Several years, actually. He was about twelve or so when Melissa was born. He used to help watch her, while I designed the dresses." She spoke softly.

I hadn't realized they were that close. "And what about Rose?"

"You remember that night I left you the first poem?" She asked. 

I nodded, remembering that angering night all too well. 

"I met her at that party. Jack introduced us. I thought she was beautiful, in her dinner gown, and jewels. I wished I looked like her. I wished I was her. In a way, I was jealous. I was attracted to Jack, I won't lie about that. I'm not that much older than him, really. I was sixteen when I gave birth to Melissa. But then Rose comes prancing down from first class, like she owns everything. Including Jack." She said. 

I was shocked, she had admired Jack as well? What was it about Jack? When I thought about it, I got so angry. I still do. 

"If you disliked her so, why did you befriend her?" I asked. 

I pulled her out of the way of a mud puddle which she hadn't noticed. 

"She was really nice. And Jack was so happy." She said, almost in a dream world. 

I looked at her for a long moment, as we continued to walk. She pointed to a park. "There it is."

"Okay." I answered. At the gates, she released my arm. Walking deep into the park. As I trailed behind.

"Catherine?" I heard a shocked voice come from a woman, seated on a bench. I continued to stay back. Out of their sight. "That looks like my dress!"

"Yes, Rose, It's me. Good to see you again. Really? I just got this yesterday" She laughed, taking my Rose in an embrace.

"God, look at you." A man stood, holding a new leather binder. As he drew nearer to Catherine. I saw it was Jack. Alive and well. Both of them.

They all sat at the little wooden table. Jack looking right at home. Catherine looking out of place in her fine clothes. And Rose looking so incredibly different without her fine clothes. 

They laughed and smiled. I continued to watch. Almost wishing I could be a part of that friendship. Three friends who had been through hell and back. Regaling each other with their good times together.

Rose sat beside Jack. Looking happier than I had ever seen her be. She looked carefree. And Jack. Had I ever looked upon him so fondly before? I didn't think so. 

Rose leaned back and kissed him on the lips. A moment I thought I would hate to see come. But I was fine. I wasn't angry exactly. I still felt defeated, though, and that angered me.

"So, anyway, I think we've chewed over just about everything." Jack said. "Except these new clothes. And God, look at that ring." He picked up Catherine's hand. 

Then Rose examined it. The blue diamond obviously bringing back memories to her. 

"So are you engaged or something?" Rose asked, smiling.

"Maybe." Catherine teased. 

"Oh come on. Look." Jack said picking up Rose's hand. "You knew about this." 

I saw the sunlight glistened on a ring on Rose's finger. I swallowed back my pride.

"True. Okay I'm engaged" She laughed.

Rose gasped, a huge smile on her face.

"No way." Jack said. "Who to?" 

"Can't tell you that." Catherine replied. Doing exactly as I had told her. But now I had seen Rose. Seen her happiness. I had seen Dawson, seen his love for Rose. He loved her in a true passionate way. In which I had never. Maybe it was the tragedy at sea, maybe it was the affair with the third-class woman, maybe it was realizing defeat. Whatever it was, it had changed me.

"Come on, just tell us! Look at your clothes and this ring. You look amazing. Who's the man that's doing this for you?" Rose asked. Her hand on Catherine's hand. 

"I'm sorry, my friends. But I cannot tell you." She answered. 

They both sighed with disappointment. 

I started to walk to them. 

"She can't," I called out. "But I can. It's me."

Jack stood. As if ready to fight. I held a hand up. Telling him to stay there. I quickly made my way to them. I stood behind Catherine. Jack stood staring me in the eyes.

"Cal?" Rose asked surprised. Staring up at me. 

"Yes, sweetpea." I replied. 

"Cal, whatever you're planning to do. Don't try it. She's not even using her name anymore." Jack threatened. 

"Oh yes, Rose Dawson, is it?" I laughed. Looking at Rose.

"Cal, leave me alone. I can't believe you'd use our friend just to find us." She said. "Why did you tell him I was alive, Catherine?" 

"I'm not using her. And come now Rose, I would have found out sooner or later." I replied. 

"Cal, what do you want?" Jack asked. 

"Nothing, Jack. Only to congratulate you." I held my hand out to him. He stared at me hard. "Come on, Jack. I understand everything. You love Rose." I smiled at Rose. "In a way that I never could. So I hope you're happy together." 

He looked at me skeptically. "What's the catch, Cal?" 

"No catch. Just except my apology and get it over with already." My voice rose a little. 

Finally he took my hand in a firm shake. "Good. Come, sweetheart" 

"I'm not going with you, Cal." Rose spat. 

I looked down to Catherine. 

"I wasn't 'hired' to come here. I am marrying Cal." Catherine said. 

Rose and Jack exchanged surprised glances. "Come along, Catherine. We have to get our train." 

She stood, along with Rose. They embraced, as they said goodbye. 

"I guess we both end up winning, Jack. One way or another." I smiled. Shaking Jack's hand again.

Jack still looked amazed. But he nodded anyway. As we walked away from them I didn't feel defeated anymore. I felt I had won. Rose wasn't meant for me. Nor I for her. I had finally accepted that. 

Of course, I often thought back to Rose. To the Titanic where I had felt a love for her. Often I would think of my hatred towards Jack. My pride which had made me do the craziest things.

But after that day in the park, I felt relatively at peace. Catherine and I immediately returned home. I taught her everything she would need to know in the wealthy world. Everything she would need to know in her new life.


	12. The Wedding

****

~*Twelve*~

The Wedding

The month passed by like minutes. Catherine and Melissa grew to love their new world more everyday. Our love for each other grew as well. My father attempted to pry information out of me about Melissa and Catherine. Eventually he gave up. After all. The wedding was in only two days. 

Melissa was to stay with the Van Sant's while Catherine and I were away on our honeymoon. I hadn't told Catherine where we were going yet. But I knew she had to love it, it was the best money could buy. 

Three weeks touring France, Rome, exotic places. She had grown up in Paris, but never got to truly live the romance of it. The beauty of it. I wanted to show her that. 

Finally after all the invitations were out, the preparations completed. It was the day at last. September 20th. I remember it like no other day. I dressed in a white tuxedo. My father looking more nervous than I was, actually. He came up to me. In the parlor of our home.

The ceremony was at the mansion. In the great hallway. White was the theme. White flowers and clothing. White furniture. Lace, it was just beautiful. Spared no expense.

"You look wonderful, son. And your bride looks even more so." He said teasingly, at the fact that I couldn't see Catherine. Until she walked down the isle to me. 

"Father, might I say you look great yourself." I said looking at his tuxedo. 

"Why thank you." He laughed a little. "You nervous?"

I shook my head. "It's all perfect, what's there to be nervous about?"

He smiled, and walked away. I picked up a wine class, drinking the fine wine. 

I brushed at my tuxedo one last time, then entered the hallway. We had invited Rose and Jack, though Rose tried to disguise herself from my father. Which she did wonderfully. 

Ruth wasn't informed of the wedding. So Catherine talked me into allowing her friends to join in the ceremony. 

I walked over to Dawson. "Jack, how are you?" I asked.

"Fine, sir." He smiled. 

I looked down at his white suit. His hair slicked back again. 

"Wow, you look extraordinary. You could almost pass for a gentlemen." I laughed. 

So did he. "Almost." He held his hand out to shake. I took his hand in mine, glad that we had reconciled most of our differences. Though the only reason he and Rose were here, was for Catherine. She wanted them. And I gave her everything she wanted. 

Rose walked up beside us. "Hello, Cal. Congratulations." 

"Rose, you look amazing." I kissed her knuckles. She was to be Catherine's maid of honor. She wore a light blue flowing dress, with white flowers tied around her wrist. She looked elegant again. Although I knew I had purchased both their outfits. Everything here actually. 

"You'll have to come to mine and Jack's wedding in the spring." She said smiling. "You won't have to dress too proper."

"What? Dress like you normally do, don't be ridiculous." I laughed.

"Well, I don't believe we've been introduced." My father said walking over to our little gathering. "You look very familiar, young lady." 

I pleaded with my eyes to her, asking her not to tell him anything. 

"Really, Sir? Well I just arrived from New York. Danielle Carter." Rose said politely. 

"Lovely." He said. "And you, sir?" He asked looking at Jack. 

Jack looked at me, then back to my father. I stared at him, hoping he would be as polite as Rose. 

"Robert Carter. Pleasure to meet you, sir." He extended his hand. 

"Very good." He said shaking Jack's hand. "Well I'm off. We're about to start."

After he left. I turned back to Rose and Jack. "Thank you." I said. 

"No problem, Cal." Jack said. 

"Jack!" Melissa's small voice rang out as she made her way to us. 

Jack leaned down and took Melissa in an embrace. I looked around to make sure no one had heard her speak to him. 

"Melissa. Look at you. My God. You look amazing. You like it here?" He asked. 

"Yes, it's great. You should come visit more often, mommy and I miss you." She said smiling.

"Melissa? Do you remember me?" Rose asked, kneeling down to the child.

"Rose, of course. I've missed you too." She exclaimed. They embraced. "Cal, is so nice. It's wonderful here." 

Jack looked at me a bit shocked. "Well Cal's niceness is a bit hard to comprehend when he's shooting and yelling at people." He laughed. 

Melissa looked from Jack, then to me. Confused obviously. 

"Jack, such a kidder." I laughed nervously. 

"Cal, can Melissa come stay with us? While you are on your honeymoon?" Rose asked. 

I thought about it a moment. "I don't know. The Van Sants have already offered."

"Come on, Cal. We're cheap." Jack laughed. 

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of." I replied.

"Please Cal? I haven't got to see them in so long." Melissa pleaded holding onto Rose's hand. 

"Yeah, come on Cal. No one will find out. Melissa can keep a secret, can't you Melissa?" Rose asked, looking at the child.

Against my better judgment, I nodded. "But Rose, make sure to keep her manners up." I warned.

"Don't worry so much, Cal." She answered. 

"Well, if you'll excuse me." Jack said looking at the preacher who stood at the end of the hall. "I have to go after Catherine." 

I nodded. Overcome by nervousness again. 

Jack walked off. Rose took Melissa by the hand as they went to their places. 

"Well, you ready?" Colonel Gracie asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. 

"I think." I laughed a little. He was my best man, of course. 

He walked beside me up to the front of the gathering. Family and friends sat on either side of the isle. The isle itself had a strip of red velvet down the center. 

My father smiled as he seated himself in the front row, behind the colonel and me. I looked over to the dining area entrance, our staff stood watching us. Smiles on their faces. Thomas, the butler, held Melissa's dog on a silver leash. 

After a few moments, the organ started playing. The colonel and I looked towards the entrance to the hall. As everyone stood.

Melissa emerged, throwing white rose pedals onto the isle. She looked like a child doll. Dressed in her fine white and pink dress. Frills and lace covering every inch of it.

Rose followed behind the child. A smile stretched across her beautiful face. Her hands wrapped around a small white bouquet. 

The colonel patted my shoulder. As Jack and Catherine emerged behind Rose. She had her arm draped through Jack's. The white rose bouquet in her hand. The train of her gown trailing far behind her and Jack. The sheer veil over her face, and a tiara graced her blond hair.

This was the wedding I had always envisioned for myself. 

"She looks like a dream." The colonel whispered to me. 

I nodded. Hoping she wasn't a dream I would wake up from any time soon. Rose took her place on the other side of the preacher. Melissa stood at her side, holding the little basket of rose pedals. 

Jack smiled at me as he placed her hand in mine. We turned to the preacher. Jack went to her side of the gathering, sitting in the front row. "Who givith this woman to this man?" The preacher asked.

Jack stood. "I do." Then he seated himself again. 

"We have come before God and these witnesses, to join this man and this woman, in holy matrimony." The preacher started. "Do you, Caledon, take this woman, Catherine, to be your lawfully wedded wife? To love, honor and cherish. In sickness and in health. For richer and for poorer. For better or for worse. As long as you both shall live?"

I looked at Catherine. "I do." 

"Do you, Catherine, take this man, Caledon, to be your lawfully wedded husband? To love, honor and cherish. In sickness and in health. For richer or for poorer. For better or for worse. As long as you both shall live?"

Catherine looked up at me. "I do." 

I smiled at her. I squeezed her hand reassuringly. She looked like a vision really. Stunning and amazing. She'd have to be to put up with me. I laughed to myself. 

"Do you have the rings?" 

I turned to the colonel. He held the ring out to me. 

I took it in my hand, and turned back to the preacher. 

"Place it on the bride's left forefinger." He said. "And now repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed. And I pawn to thee my troth." 

I looked at Catherine. "With this ring, I thee wed. And I pledge to thee my troth." I placed the ring on her finger. 

"Catherine do you also have a ring?" The preacher asked. 

"Yes."

Rose handed her the matching ring. She turned back to me. 

"Take this ring, and place it on the groom's left forefinger." He spoke. "Now repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed. And I pledge to thee my troth." 

"With this ring, I thee wed. And I pawn to thee my troth." She placed the ring on my hand. She smiled at me through the veil. 

"Now, is there anyone here, who has cause to stop this wedding. Let him speak now, or forever hold his peace." 

I glanced around. No one spoke. 

"Then by the power vested in me. In the state of Pennsylvania, I now pronounce you: husband and wife. And what God has joined together let no man put asunder. You may now kiss the bride." 

I gently picked up the veil and pressed my lips to hers. Cheers rang through the hallway. The colonel popped open the champagne, while he laughed wildly. Jack walked up to us. Shaking my hand as Rose hugged Catherine. 

"Congratulations, Cal." 

"Thank you, Jack." I answered. 

Rose kissed my cheek. "Hope you'll be happy at last, Cal." 

I smiled at her. Jack and Catherine embraced. "Never thought I'd see this day come, Cat. You look amazing. You're wealthy, wearing fine clothes." Jack started, still hugging Catherine. 

"Hey, I can still win a race against you." She laughed. So did Jack.

Melissa stood beside me. I leaned down to hug her. "Melissa you were wonderful." I said. I noticed she held the leash to the dog. "So were you, Captain." I petted the dog between the ears. She had named him after Captain Smith. I guess he had been very kind to them. So he was a great loss to Melissa.

"Well, shall we get to the gala?" The colonel said, shaking my hand. 

"I should have known, Archie." I laughed. Catherine and I, walked arm in arm out to the back yard. Which was also decorated for the occasion. 

Our staff and decorators did a fantastic job, of course. The reception went great as well. Dancing, talking. The colonel and his brandy. 

Jack tapped his glass everyone, stopped to listen. 

"Cal, Catherine. I wish you the utmost happiness and joy. You've come together in the greatest estate. Love each other with all your hearts. And make each day count." He smiled. Knowing how I had reacted when he said it on Titanic.

The colonel turned to him, as though he remembered him from that dinner. 

"Well said, Robert!" My father held up his glass. 

Then, the colonel knew it wasn't Jack. Or so he thought. After the toast Catherine and I danced to the soft music of the band my father had hired. 

As the reception grew to an end, I realized Dawson and Rose were no where to be seen. 

"Father, have you seen where the Carters went?" I asked. Catherine on my arm. 

He pointed to the corner table. We walked over to them.

"Dawson, what are you doing?" I asked. Rose leaned over him, and his sketchbook.

"Wedding present." He handed a sheet of paper to Catherine.

"It's lovely Jack." Catherine held the paper to where I could see. 

A finely detailed portrait of Catherine and I. He had a great talent, I hoped he would succeed in art. 

"Thank you, Mr. Dawson." I smiled. 

He laughed. "Hey, shouldn't you people get going?" 

I took out my gold pocket watch. It was nearly time for the train to New York. 

"Yes." I laughed. "Come on, sweetheart." 

She hugged Rose one more time before we left. 

"Where will you be staying? So we can pick up Melissa when we return?" I asked. 

"New York." Rose replied. "We're moving there. Isn't that right, Jack?" 

"Yeah, she says I'll get no one with my drawings in Chippewa Falls." He laughed. 

We said our goodbyes, and went to our room to dress. Of course the maid had brought her belongings over to my room. We dressed. And Douglas drove us to the train station. 


	13. The Letter

****

~*Thirteen*~

The Letter

I sum up the next few years now, seeing as I am running out of time so very quickly.

The honeymoon was amazing, of course. We returned home nearly a month later. Only nine months later did Catherine give birth to our first child. Caledon Hockley Jr. He brought so much joy to our lives. Melissa helped in every way she could.

My father passed on the next year. I inherited his millions of course. I won't lie money always seemed to make things better. I showered Catherine, Melissa and little Caledon with everything they wanted. Everything was perfect. 

Catherine and I never fought, like everyone thought would happen. In 1920 I got the news that Rose had a starring role in a motion picture show. I was so very proud of her, as was Catherine. 

Jack became known for his art worldwide. He and Rose led a rich life from what I gather. I never saw them again after we returned from our honeymoon. 

In 1924 Catherine and I were blessed with our second child. Madeleine Dawn. She was beautiful, just like her mother. Melissa moved out of our home. Marrying a wealthy man, by the name of Paul Smith. He owned part of the railroad. 

For five more years Catherine and I lived in what seemed a magical fairytale world. With our two children. Filled with yachts and galas. All the fine things in life. Making each day count, as Jack had so appropriately put it. 

It wasn't until this year, 1929. That I once again learned what emptiness and despair are. This past August, Catherine became very ill. Her heart was older than she, obviously. I got her the best doctors money could ever buy. I stayed by her side at the hospital. Holding her hand as the life slowly faded from her. 

Oh, how my heart ached for her then. As it does now. I lost my soul mate there in that hospital. My life, my love. My Catherine. 

I asked myself, "Why?" hundreds of times. Never did I get an answer. 

After her funeral, I returned home. Which now seemed so completely empty. My children were a great comfort. I know that, and I'm thankful I had them. 

I went on, trying to salvage my life, though it seemed like it had ended. 

Only days ago, did I receive the news I couldn't handle alone. A day I feared would come. And without Catherine, I didn't have the strength to face it. To accept it.

My lawyer informed me of the stock crash on Wallstreet. My money gone. I had nothing. Only my children. Which I didn't know how to take care of now. October 30, 1929 was the date he told me. 

It's now November 5th. Nearly a week. I am already feeling the loss. I can't take it. I've sent the children to stay with Melissa. They can't be here now. 

As I walked home this morning. Before I wrote down my story for you, I spotted a man on the street. He sold stolen merchandise. A thief, and poor excuse for a human. I approached him, handing him all the money I had with me. This wasn't all the money I had. I still had some. But I couldn't handle being poor. 

He handed me the silver, pearl handled pistol. It lays here on my desk as I write this to you. 

I pray this finds someone. So you'll know my story. Know my life, my loves. I leave you with one bit of advice. Money does not make the man, but it can easily break him.

Search for you love, forget about money. Even if you feel you have more than you'll ever need. It could easily disappear before your very eyes. 

To my darling children, I love you so much. Mind Melissa, she'll take excellent care of you. 

To Jack and Rose, wherever you are. You'll never know what either of you has truly meant to me. I wish you all the luck and happiness that you both deserve. 

To anyone reading this. Live each day to it's fullest potential. Never pass up a chance to live, to love, and be loved in return. 

I leave you now with the best words ever spoken to me. I didn't see it when they were first spoken. Now I do. 

__

'Take life as it comes at you. You never know what hand you're going to get dealt next. Life is a gift, don't waste it. Make each and every day count.'

Sincerely, 

Caledon Hockley

November 5, 1929


End file.
